Angst. Like looots of it. Song fic, yay! TW: SUICIDAL THOUGHTS AND ACTIONS
Help me it's like the walls are caving in
Peter closes his eyes a sob escaping him as he slides down the bathroom wall. He couldn't do this anymore.
Sometimes I feel like giving up
He grips the blade in his hand and holds it to his wrist.
But I just can't
It isn't in my blood
He pulls it away again, tears rolling down his face.
Laying on the bathroom floor feeling nothing
I'm overwhelmed and insecure give me something
I could take to ease my mind slowly
He swipes Aunt May's Tequila from beside him and takes a swig. It burns his throat.
Just have a drink and you'll feel better
He's downed more than half of it now and he wishes he could just drown in it.
Just take her home and you'll feel better
He wished he'd said something to Michelle. If only he had spoken to her instead of backing down like the coward he is. Who is he kidding? She wouldn't accept him anyway.
Keep telling me that it gets better
Does it ever
He's felt like this for so long, he doesn't remember what it feels like to be happy.
Help me it's like the walls are caving in
Sometimes I feel like giving up
No medicine is strong enough
He'd tried downing pills to sooth the pain before but it only made it worse. He wants Mr. Stark to hold him and tell him that it will al be okay. But it won't.
Someone help me
I'm crawling in my skin
He was so horrible. There wasn't one thing he liked about himself.
Sometimes I feel like giving up
He sniffles and raises the blade to his wrist again.
But I just can't
It isn't in my blood
A sob rips from his throat and he drops it to his side.
It isn't in my blood
He grabs his phone from the ground, his heart pounding out of his chest. He looks through the messages he gets daily. Freak. Stupid. Ugly. Waste of space.
Looking through my phone again
Feeling anxious
He wants someone to just help him. He wants someone to make it better.
Afraid to be alone again
I hate this
His breath is coming in short gasps. He sobs again, louder.
I'm trying to find a way to chill
Can't breath oh
He wants his friends and his aunt. He wants his mentor. He wants to be loved and held and soothed. He wants to be talked down but he's not sure if he can be.
Is there somebody who could
Help me it's like the walls are caving in
Sometimes I feel like giving up
He unsteadily brings the razor up. He's not sure if he can do this. Stupid, stupid, stupid! Just do it already!
No medicine is strong enough
Someone help me
I'm crawling in my skin
He was so worthless. Why didn't he have the courage to just end it already?
Sometimes I feel like giving up
He presses it into his skin. Was he really going to do this?
But I just can't
It isn't in my blood
He cries out and drops his hand.
It isn't in my blood
He wanted Mr. Stark so so bad. He sniffles and grabs his phone again. He presses on Mr. Stark's contact but quickly chickens out. He hangs up as soon as he hits call and chucks his phone across the room.
I need somebody now
I need somebody now
Someone to help me out
Someone like Mr. Stark. His phone rings. And rings. And rings.
I need somebody now
He doesn't answer no matter how badly he wants to hear his mentor's voice.
Help me it's like the walls are caving in
Sometimes I feel like giving up
He takes a deep breath and presses the metal into his wrist.
But I just can't
It isn't in my blood
He nearly wails as he tosses the blade away.
"Kid! Kid open up!" He hear Mr. Stark call. He must've entered the apartment while he was too busy crying to notice. He stares longingly at the blade.
It isn't in my blood
It isn't in my blood
Peter can't do this. He needs Mr. Stark. Maybe things would be okay. He shakily stands up and open the door. Mr. Stark rushes in and doesn't hesitate to scoop Peter into a hug.
I need somebody now
"I need you." He croaks. He can feel Mr. Stark shaking with silent sobs against him. "I know kid. You got me." He responds.
It isn't in my blood
I need somebody now
Maybe with Mr. Stark things would be okay.
It isn't in my blood
He couldn't kill himself. Because it wasn't in his blood.
YOU ARE READING
irondad & spiderson oneshots
Fanfici was going to go through and edit all of this but actually i have decided i don't want to so just try and pretend it doesn't look like it was written by a 12yo (it was)
