Pages of Autumn

Chapter 3

My being was overwhelmed by uneasiness. I failed to detect, up until now, that being in an unfamiliar expanse made me feel identical to an alien. I remained solo this time around. Having Riley with me for my first witness of New York was rather comforting. Presently, I felt uneasy, fretful and disorientated. Seeing that my eager self is standing at a station in Philadelphia with no indication of where to move my aching legs, these sensations consumed my intellect. Using the strength I had in me to shove my anxiety to the side, I stumbled up to the first assuring living soul I spotted; an old lady with a gray, aged-looking Rat terrier.

"Hi mam. Sorry to bother you, but do you know where the closest hotel is?" I requested information whilst glancing down toward the dog. Eye contact has by no means been the easiest for myself.

She replied that there was a Roadway Inn a couple of blocks down. I thanked the warmhearted woman and commenced the brief saunter. Reaching the inn generated a prodigious sum of reassurance to bolt through my veins. A room for one night came to fifty-dollars, which was exceedingly staggering to me. I wasn't reckoning for a motel to be so in-expensive. With the number of money that is on my 'crisis' card, I could stay put here for a month. I wandered about the complex up till I located a tiny, iridescent, diamond-formed block of lumber with fourty-three arranged across it- neighboring a hazel door. I glided the key card that the youthful gentleman at the reception desk gave me to unlock the entry. I had been exhilarated to note the charm to the interior of the space- considering how affordable it was, I plainly presumed it would be a shred of hogwash.

A queen sized bed was in the middle of the roomy space, a nightstand on each side of it. I set my stuff on the comforter covered in green leaves and vines. I was pleased to find a stand-up shower in the bathroom with a built in seat. I pulled my ginger hair into a bun- looking into the glass reflection I couldn't help but think of Riley. His tattoos that were inked up and down his arms and chest. His perfect ocean eyes and brown hair that covered most of his angelic face. And I will never forget about his laugh that could fill a room in seconds. I hate this heavy feeling that traveled through my body, the want to cry making itself more present than ever. I cupped my hands, filling them with cold water before splashing it on my freckled-covered face. I quickly changed out of my uncomfortable clothes with the thought of snuggling into that mattress for the remainder of this rainy day.

* * *

Riley's P.O.V.

My mind twirled into space like a ballerina for hours. I am approaching hour number six of staring at the tiles on my ceiling, depression truly began to kick in. I haven't been this motivated to do absolutely nothing since my brother died two years ago. I sound stupid, I know. I had just met the girl a couple days ago, and most of that time was spent on a train. Although, there was something about her that I wanted to grasp onto forever. I have felt nothing but lonely since I lost my best friend, that I had nobody to relate to until I met Autumn- might as well be considered a damn goddess. I pulled my body away from my sofa and trudged to the kitchen, the sound of my feet dragging against the wood flooring hit the walls of the messy space. I had littered anything that I could pick up and throw in the place.

To say the very least, I have anger issues. I am not talking screaming and punching a walls- I almost hate myself for what I have become. I destroy art pieces that I spent months on. I break light bulbs in the palm of my hand, I throw valuable things as far as my body can take them- and for some reason in that very moment, I don't care about the price or how hard I probably worked for that particular thing that I just chucked across the room. I scream until I feel as though my lungs are on fire, a desperate need of someone- anyone- to hear my desperation. My desperation to feel painless and free. I have felt a burden on my chest for as far back as I could remember. I am trapped inside my body, my soul wants nothing more than to break through. As crazy as it sounds, I finally found my person that made me feel alive; Autumn. I need to find her and hold her once more.