Pages of Autumn

Chapter 4

The last couple of days consisted of nearly choking on mouthfuls of Chinese take-out and permitting the clear, salty liquid I have had bottled up to burst out of the mental jar I have kept them guarded in. Riley has tolerated me to the other side of every terror I have endured, for the stress that has touched a single nerve, and for moments of misery that creeps behind me like a shadow. I peered over my freckled, pasty-white shoulder, at the angelic creature sprawled across the dusty hardwood flooring that was currently covered in drops of vibrant fusion and fire-truck orange. Riley was painting a mural the size of Texas- it was ginormous. I adored the view of the master at his finest.

"You alright over there love?" He removed the paintbrush from his hand, setting it down.

"Just enjoying the view." I couldn't help the laugh that escaped my lips after saying this true- yet embarrassing- remark.

Riley lifted himself off the floor and inched his way towards me with a grin smeared across his face.

"Oh, is that right?" He said this with an evil look, his hands making their way directly to my feet (my very ticklish feet, I might add).

Before I could muster my sentence, I was off the couch and draped over Riley's shoulder like a rag doll. Hundreds of giggles echoed amongst the space, hitting and bouncing off of each wall. He ran and skipped around the clutter. Chanting for me to confess my obsession with staring at him- because he is oh so divine.

I think his lungs finally gave way as he plopped me down where I was comfy minutes prior before huffing for air like he finished a five-mile track competition. He fell back onto the cushion in a dramatic way, placing his inked hands behind his neck. The familiar electric shot up and down my arm like a lightning bolt. A sensation never known to me until I met Riley.

"So, I have a question for you." He places a cigarette between his lips, picking up a pack of matches off the floor before lighting one.

"Hit me." The arrival of nerves caused my stomach to do somersaults.

"I have a small group of friends that usually come over Saturday nights. We just smoke or drink and hang out, nothing out of the ordinary. I wanted to make sure that was okay with you." I hope he didn't notice my face fall as the words fell from his mouth.

"Of course." The thought I've always had of being a terrible liar was confirmed.

"If you aren't okay with it I can tell them to piss off and you and I can go see a movie or something cheesy." He says this with a smile which comforts me. My old self would gladly take the offer and avoid what's making me feel uneasy as I would always do. But the whole point of this spontaneous 'trip' was to start fresh.

"I don't care if they come over. I'm excited to meet your friends." I grab Riley's pack of cigarettes and light one without consent, but I needed something to settle the butterflies.

"Sounds good love. If you change your mind don't hesitate to tell me. They should be here within a couple hours." He puts his cigarette out on the skull ashtray.

"Is it okay if I take a shower and clean myself up a bit? I don't want to look like a garbage can as a first impression." I stand up only for him to pull me back down onto his lap.

"You are the most beautiful girl I have ever known." He pressed his lips against the back of my ear. An odd sensation traveled up and down my spine as I felt his warm breath against my neck.

"For you, maybe one day I will believe it." I said this and he released me from his gentle grip.

I collected the small number of clothes I had packed, my curling iron, and makeup bag from the kitchen table as I thought nothing but dirty fantasies about Riley which-causing my heart beat to quicken.