Pages of Autumn

Chapter 23

I woke up with a pounding headache, the sun shining through the white curtains. Luckily, we had a later flight and didn't have to rush around. 

"Honey." I whispered in Riley's ear, placing my palm on his bare chest. 

"Hmm.." He groaned, turning over so his body was facing mine- Wrapping his arm around my frame. 

"It's past one babe, I think we should get up." I laughed, rubbing circles into his face with the pad of my thumb. 

"Fuck." He muttered, squinting his eyes open. 

"How are you feeling?" I asked, continuing to draw imaginary lines into his face. 

"Like complete ass." He said, flashing his perfect teeth. 

"Well, our flight leaves at four," I said, getting out of bed. "That gives us enough time to shower, pack and possibly go out to eat." I continued, throwing my hair into a ponytail. 

"Sounds good to me." Riley said, rolling out of bed- Literally. 

"Well, I'll be in the shower. Once you're done rolling around in the blankets, you can join me." I giggled, padding towards the bathroom that was connected to the bedroom. 

* * *

I ran back to Sky, hugging her for the millionth time in the doorway. 

"I promise this is the last time." I said into her shoulder- Clarifying I wouldn't turn around again for another hug. 

"I told you. I'll visit you in New York faster than you can blink." She said, letting go from my grip. 

I mustered up the courage to get into the car, not looking behind me- It would only make it harder. Goodbyes were never easy; For most, they aren't. 

We stopped at Taco Bell, going through the drive through being it was already four o'clock. I ordered eight supreme tacos; Four for each of us. 

The ride to the airport was quiet, not even the radio playing. I rolled down the window, taking in the Tennessee breeze and air- I wasn't sure when I would visit next. 

* * *

Stumbling into the apartment, I heard Riley drop the luggage behind me; Letting out a breath. 

"Fuck, I don't feel like working tomorrow." I said, crawling into bed- Too tired to change out of my clothes. 

"You'll do great baby. Just keep in mind that there are other jobs out there. You aren't stuck with this one forever." Riley said, and I knew he was right. 

"I know." I spoke. I can't stand the thought of leaving Chad after what happened with Avery so soon. It breaks my heart. 

I closed my eyes, Riley snuggling up to me from behind. 

"I love you so much." I muttered out of exhaustion, using his arm as a pillow. 

"I love you more." He said, resting a kiss on my ear. 

* * *

The next morning was miserable. I felt like I was coming down with a cold, sniffling as I attempted to get ready. I was scared to go to work- To be in that atmosphere without Avery. Even though I had only known her for a short amount of time, I missed her. The moment I close my eyes, I see the girl behind the counter smiling- Appearing to be so happy. 

I kissed Riley softly, not wanting to wake him. Although I did feel sick as ever, I felt well rested. We got home at a decent time yesterday, and I slept right through to this morning. 

Walking to the coffee shop, I was nervous about how the day would treat me. I got adjusted to having Avery by my side, always being the answer to my stupid amount of questions. 

Entering the coffee shop, the air was quiet and the colorful walls looked dull. Chad stood behind the front counter, a green apron on. 

"I will be assisting you until I can find another counter employee." He said, mustering a small smile. 

"Okay." I laughed lightly, making my way to the back room to set down my stuff. 

Walking past the break room, I noticed the chair Avery sat in and the table was gone. I pushed the urge to ask Chad to the side, not wanting to bring up the subject. 

The day dragged on, only around ten customers stopping by. I didn't even go on break- Not feeling the same as I used to do so with Avery. I left the shop at three, telling Chad to have a good day. 

I dragged my feet against the sidewalk, the winter air hitting my chest. I coughed into my elbow, my nose forming wetness every second after wiping it. 

"Hey love." Riley said, sitting on the edge of the bed with a cigarette. 

"Hey." I spoke, dropping my purse on the floor. 

"How was work?" He asked, gesturing for me to sit next to him. 

"Fucking terrible." I said, falling onto my back. 

"Why's that?" He asked, making his way towards the fridge. 

"Everything just felt off, ya know?" I said, turning my body so I could see him. 

"That's understandable." He said, grabbing a beer for the fridge. 

I love him, more than anything. The fact that he hasn't gone a day without drinking since his mother died, concerns me. 

"Babe, how about we try to go one day without drinking?" I said nicely, not wanting to anger him. 

"I knew this lecture would come eventually." He said, obviously ignoring what just left my mouth- Cracking open the can. 

"I just, I want you to try and ease back a little?" I said, coming out as more of a question than a statement. 

"I will ease back when I feel I want to. Is that okay with you?" He said harshly, walking toward the front door. 

"Where are you going?" I questioned, moving from my spot on the bed. 

"To the bar." He said shortly, sliding on his vans. 

"Why don't you stay here? We can watch a movie." I spoke, scared of his response. 

"I'm good. I don't feel like dealing with an intervention." He said, walking out of the door with a beer in hand. 

I'm so tired of the mood swings from him- It's something I'm not used to. All I want is to help him get through this rough patch. I am aware he is grieving, and I know everyone handles it differently. Although, lately, I feel like he is taking out his anger and frustrations on me. And I don't like it one bit.