Pages of Autumn

Chapter 24

I got dressed into something sexy, refusing to sit back with tortured emotions. I took one last glance in the mirror, being fully satisfied with my appearance for once. I gathered my things from around the apartment, neatly folding them into my suitcase.

I will no longer be a burden. I will dismiss myself from getting in the way of Riley's schooling. No more will I bother or annoy him with my concerns. Never did I deserve him to begin with.

I circled around the small place I came to know as home, closing my eyes and breathing in the familiar scent.

I am going to go through with my plan, no turning back. I shut the door behind me, slowly and hesitantly. 

I strutted down the sidewalk, on my way to the bar that held haunted memories; One I knew Riley wouldn't be at.

Setting foot into the familiar place, the man I was looking for sat at the bar. I strolled towards him, pulling out the chair neighboring his.

"I need you to help me with something." I said, smirking as I pulled out my notebook.

*Riley's P.O.V.*

I chugged down my third drink, Autumn making laps in my mind. I hate myself for the way I have been treating her. I know it's not a good excuse, but sometimes I can't handle it. My anger issues take a toll on me, I feel like it's starting to consume me.

I slammed the glass on the table, deciding to call it quits while I can still walk. Thanking the bartender, I placed a tip next to my empty drink.

I grabbed my coat from behind the chair, making my way out the depressing fucking bar. I tried picking up my pace, wanting to smother Autumn in kisses.

Concern developed in my chest, butterflies getting loose in my stomach- And not the good kind. As the studio came into view, I noticed just how dark it was. I quickened my walk to a jog, trying my best not to jump to conclusions.

Fuck, I swear if I have to spend the remainder of my night looking for her- I'm going to lose it.

Walking into the apartment, I was panicked but not surprised to find it empty of Autumn. Turning on the lights, my heart broke to a million fucking pieces as I noticed her stuff gone.

I caused this, I hurt her and I needed to fix it. I left the apartment, taking out my phone to text pretty much my whole contact list.

'Have you seen Autumn? I haven't seen or heard anything from her. All her stuff is missing and I'm worried. Thanks.'

I sent out the text with shaky fingers, running down the sidewalk- My whole world slowly turning into a blob.

I entered every store and bar open, asking if they have seen Autumn; Showing her picture to a bunch of strangers like a mad man. Receiving nothing but no's, I grew hopeless. As much as I hate to fucking admit.

On the way home, it was probably around three in the morning. I trudged up the stairs, dreading the thought of going inside- Knowing Autumn won't be there.

I messed up, badly. Once again, my alcohol problem didn't fail to consume my relationships.

Unlocking the door, the studio felt cold and dark. Metaphorically and literally.

Having no energy to take off my shoes, I face planted into the bed. Wanting to feel nothing as sleep welcomed me.

* * *

I opened my eyes, being met with an empty bed. The drunken night prior was a blur- I could only wish it was a nightmare. Unfortunately, it wasn't.

I mustered up the strength to get out of bed, trudging to the bathroom.

Looking in the reflection, I looked like an entirely different person than I did a couple weeks ago. The bags under my eyes had a light purple shade to them. Around my pupils pink from the mental fucking breakdown I had hours ago.

I quickly brushed my teeth, not even bothering putting toothpaste on my toothbrush. Luckily, I still had my attire on from last night.

I tried to keep high hopes that I would find her, no matter how hard that was to do. For the amount of time I have known Autumn, I have found that she is a very mysterious girl. She is clever, and stubborn. As much as I needed to stay positive to stay mentally sane- I'm unsure how long I will be able to tolerate the worst of heartbreaks.

Even after my mother's death, somehow this felt worse. It was a different kind of pain- a sensation of emptiness.

I texted Autumn thousands of times, sometimes texting gibberish- Wanting nothing but an answer.

Strolling down the cold city, I looked through every store window. No Autumn for miles.

Deciding to stop by the coffee shop, Chad stood behind the counter.

"Hey, I just wanted to stop by to see if Autumn came in for work." I questioned, wishing more than anything she would appear from the back.

"No, I'm sorry. She actually quit last night- Through text." He chuckled, organizing the counter as he spoke.

"Really?" I said, biting my lip. Why would she do that?

"Yup. She said her family was giving her problems about moving back home." Chad spoke, wiping down the marble.

"Thank you so much." I said, jogging out of the shop.

How could I have missed that? She just saw her family, clearly they would want her back home. And seeing how happy Autumn was when she saw them; I wouldn't be too surprised to find out she went back. But why wouldn't she tell me? She hurt me by keeping this secret.

I should have known how unhappy she was with me. She cried more than laughed and smiled. Once I get her back, I needed to fix this. I don't care if that requires me moving to Tennessee my damn self.

There's nothing I have to loose here. Sure, I have college- Something I never fucking show up to. The only thing keeping me happy and on my feet, was Autumn. Before she came into the picture I was a drunk who never left my bed. I hated the thought of going back to that because of my idiotic mistakes.

I love this girl more than anything. And I will do everything in my power to find her, and keep her safe. I'm going to fix this.