Pages of Autumn

Chapter 28

*Riley's P.O.V.*

Almost half a year has passed since Autumns disappearance. No calls, texts, or news of where she might be.

I walked down the sidewalk, staring down at my feet as I wanted no one to see my pink eyes. My typical day was spent at Bella's, which was exactly where my feet were taking me to.

How have I been? Fucking terrible. After two months of dead ends I began losing hope- At the time, that was the only thing keeping me sane. Imagining Autumn coming home, apologizing on how she made a mistake and she was confused. Although, that never happened- My phone never rang or buzzed. Autumn's mother decided to get the police involved, to which they investigated for a few weeks and still received nothing. Sky posted on Instagram; Photos littered the small town the two grew up in. My high or drunk self ripped down every poster of Autumn in this massive city out of agony.

To sum things up, I gave up. Admitting that makes my chest sting, but I had to move on- Some way or some how. That's when I started smoking heroin with Bella, soon starting to inject it. Eventually, our high sessions turned into sex sessions. Bella had needs, as did I. It was a win, win situation.

I look in the mirror, and my reflection frightens me. Appearing dead, feeling so too. I'm scared I will forever view the world as dark and lonely. The thought of pain forever causes death to become welcoming.

"Hey baby." Bella spoke, stumbling towards me as I entered her rotting apartment.

"Hey." I said, stepping over a McDonald's bag that lay on the floor.

"I missed you." She moaned, placing sloppy kisses on my neck.

"How about we get high.." I said, pausing as I planted a kiss on her lips. "Then have some nice, passionate sex." I hissed, digging my nails gently into her hips.

"Sounds perfect." She giggled, skipping towards the kitchen like a child on the hunt for candy.

I waved my arms, allowing my bag to fall to the floor. Most nights I end up sleeping over, so I always come prepared.

"Ready darling?" Bella laughed, taking a seat at the glass round table.

"You her I am." I said with a smile, ready for the night ahead of me.

* * *

"Oh my god, yes!" Bella screamed as she come undone beneath me.

Luckily she was on birth control. I didn't need to waste money on condoms or have a mess to clean up when we were done.

"Ya know, you're impressive. I will never understand how you can move like that when you're high." She said, resting her back against the headboard as I sat on the edge of the bed.

"I surprise even myself." I laughed, making my way to the bathroom to take a leak.

Usually when I get high, I'm full of unexplainable energy for roughly twenty minutes- May or may not be my adrenaline. Afterwards, I become extremely relaxed; My mind at a peaceful state. That's what keeps me so hooked to the fucking drug. It numbs everything.

A ringing engulfed my ears as I noticed Bella slumped, turning purple in the same spot I left her.

"Bella!" I screamed, rushing to her side.

My first instinct was to feel her pulse, so that's what I did. Finding one, I was relieved yet terrified. She could die in a matter of minutes, and it's up to me to make sure she doesn't.

"Come on Bell, wake up." I said, shaking her aggressively.

Still, no response. Her tiny frame began to twitch, a white foam tumbling from her blue lips.

I cradled her in my arms, sliding my vans on by the front door. In this city, an ambulance wasn't an option. By the time the paramedics arrived at her apartment, she would be gone.

The closed hospital was about a fifteen minute walk, so I'm sure I can make it five minutes if I ran.

My legs moved in long, quick strides. Ignoring the glares and looks of confusion from people around me, I continued sprinting down the sidewalk. As the emergency sign glowing red came into view, reassurance swamped my form.

"I need some help over here, please!" I exclaimed, grabbing the attention of a nurse.

"What happened dear?" This question made me feel faint. Do I tell the truth?

"I think she's overdosing on heroin. I went to the bathroom, came out and she was all purple. It happened so fast. I didn't know what to do so I ran here." I spoke rapidly, breathing heavily.

"I need a doctor over here!" The women screaming, two men in blue scrubs sprinting from, what looked like, out of nowhere.

One doctor grabbed a gurney, rolling it towards us as the other looked for a pulse; Her delicate body still twitching on and off in my arms.

"I found a pulse, it's weak. Let's get her out of here." The doctor before me spoke quickly, gently removing her from my arms.

I stood still, watching them roll the gurney down the long hallway until she was no longer in vision.

"If you would like to stay, take a seat in the waiting room." The nurse said. "They will do everything they can sweetie." She continued, placing her hand on my back.

I trudged to the closest chair, plopping down on the cold metal. My world spun, hearing every sound as if it were a slow motion video.

Sitting in an empty circle of chairs, I could help but think of how many people I let down. If Bella does pass, I will forever blame myself. Her friends and family will most likely shun me.

The thought had never occurred to me until just now; A shocking thought.

What if Autumn was dead? If so, is she looking down on me with disappointment? I have to fix myself.

Before I could comprehend what I was doing, my converse scraped against the clean tile- An irritating squeaking noise erupting.

"I need help." I muttered shamefully, the nurse behind the desk looking up at me.