Pages of Autumn

Chapter 14

Riley and I had checked into our hotel and relaxed on the king-size bed. Ghost Busters played on a continuous loop as we stuffed our mouths with popcorn. Hardwood flooring covered the mass space; It had to be three of Riley's apartment put together. A white couch and gold pillows complimented the entry way; glorious paintings covering the tan walls. 

"Do you maybe want to go out? We can walk and get ice cream." I ask this softly. Since we have gotten here he hasn't said much. A movie played on the screen in front of us but his eyes never found it. 

"No, I'm sorry. I'm just not in the mood." He said this, staring at the ceiling; What he has been doing for the past three hours. It was seven o'clock. The time difference making me believe it should be ten. 

"It's okay, I understand." I put the bowl of buttered goodness on the nightstand next to me, before holding his hand in mine. 

Quietness occupied the room for the next hour- An unnumbered amount of yawns came from both of us. We decided it was best to go to bed being we had to be up by eight in the morning. The funeral was being held down the road at nine. 

Replacing our clothes with pajamas, we climbed into bed. My back met Riley's chest, his arms wrapping around my frame. 

"I love you." I said this. Placing a kiss on his hand. 

"I love you." His lips met the top of my head. 

Snoring soon filled the room. I found myself staring at a painting that hung by the door; A women holding a baby. 

Finding out the death of Riley's mother sprung realization. I could loose mine tomorrow. I failed to make a two-minute call or one-second text message. I'm stubborn- I had to reach out to her eventually. 

* * *

I watched Riley through the mirror as I sat on the bed; he adjusted his tie for the tenth time in minutes. 

"You ready?" I said this placing my hand on his back, flashing a smile through the glass. 

"As ready as I could be." He breathed, looking down at the floor. 

I have never been good with funerals- I could imagine no one is. Death is a constant in my mind, even as a child. I remember my nana's funeral like it was yesterday. 

My cousins that were the same age as me were playing outside during the service, lacking the knowledge of what was going on. While giggles were being heard from children rolling in the grass, I sat in the very front- Tears streaming down my face. Afterwards the parents offered to take us for Burger King. They jumped up and down, screaming of joy. Meanwhile, I didn't have an appetite. And that continued for what felt like weeks. 

An Uber waited for us outside, music blaring through the BMW. 

"Excuse me, can you turn the music off please?" I said this as I stepped into the car. 

"Yah, sure." The man behind the steering wheel came off as harsh; Although, lowering the rap that shook the speakers. 

"Where are you guys headed?" The driver said this while smacking his gums. 

"Morgan Jones Funeral home please." Riley answered in a tense tone. I can tell this guy is pissing him off. 

He sped out of the parking lot, the speedometer hitting six. I clenched onto Riley's hand, squeezing tightly as we sped into the intersection. 

"Dude can you slow the fuck down?" Rage was present in Riley's voice as he spoke. 

"Yeah, sorry man. Chill out." The driver, apparently by the name of Mike, answered calmly. 

"Don't tell me what to fucking do." Riley spat, staring out the window. 

When we arrived at the funeral home, I apologized to the driver prior to tipping him ten dollars. A line of people stretched around the white brick building. Riley held my hand, guiding me with him as he cut everyone in line. I pushed back the urge to say something, I didn't want to piss him off further. 

Brown chairs were in rows, a sleek black coffin covered in pictures at the front of the room. Riley skipped past the sign-in log, making his way towards an elder couple in the front row. 

No words were said as the man hugged Riley, a pink nose and tears present on his face. 

"How you doing kid?" He breathed heavily as he spoke to Riley, releasing from the embrace. 

"Hanging in there." He responded, placing his hand gently on the lower of my back. 

"Grandma, Grandpa. This is my girlfriend, Autumn." I blushed at the label he used, holding out my hand to shake theirs. 

I wanted to do nothing more but hug them, feeling awful for their loss. It is painful to witness a parent attending their child's funeral. My heart ached for them, and for every hurt soul in the room. 

After everyone was seated, Riley and I sitting in the front next to his grandparents, the service began. A priest stood at the podium, speaking verses from the Bible. 

"Would anyone like to speak in Hilary's honor?" The Priest spoke this, the room falling quiet. 

"I think we are all too hurt." Riley's grandmother said between sniffles. 

A moment of silence was held, the organizer of the funeral then telling us of the burial. 

"The family will be the last one's to be leaving. Everyone can pay their condolences and we will head to the cemetery." The young lady informed us. 

"Okay, well I'm going to head out." Riley said this to his grandparents, hugging both of them. 

"Are you not attending the burial?" His grandmother appeared saddened as she asks this. 

"I just can't handle seeing that. I'll visit you guys soon." He spoke. Staring down at his swaying feet. 

"It was lovely meeting you. I am so sorry for your loss." I shook their hands once again, sending a warm smile. 

"You too, dear." His grandfather answered. "Take care of him please." He whispered as I turned away to catch up to Riley. 

"I will, I promise." I reassured them, making quick movements to find Riley. 

A mass of people filled the porch outside the building; hugging and crying in the atmosphere. I stood at the top of the steps, glancing in and out of groups. 

I spotted him walking across the street- Striding towards a small bar.