My Blood Moon

Chapter 4

After that last comment, I had to use use every ounce of strength to shove Derreck out the house. Honestly the sight of us must have looked like a mess. We were right at the door when Rhys opened his mouth with the dog insult, and I literally had to grab Derreck by the waist and push him with my shoulder outside. Even then, after he'd gotten over the shock that I'd practically man-handled him out the door, Derreck went crazy and tried to rush back in - no doubt to rip him apart. Of course, then I had to tackle him to the ground...which ended up with us flying off the porch and onto the grass.

"Beks, let me go I just need to go in for a second to relive his head from his miserable body." Derreck says calmly, making me narrow my eyes in suspicion.

"Can we just do something already?" I ask, turning away from him and making my way toward his car.

He hesitates for a second before sighing and following me hastily. "What do you want to do?"

I think over the question for a moment - what do I want to do? For some reason, this question stumps me more than I could imagine. Such a simple thing, a conscious choice a person makes every day...so why is that so hard to answer? Am I losing myself in all of this? Is everything that's happened changed me so much that I can't possibly think outside of training and school? What's wrong with me?

"Wow, that much!" Derreck says, breaking my thoughts. "Well, I'm not sure we can get to everything but I'll try."

I roll my eyes at his smart-ass remark - yeah, I used a cuss word for the first time in forever. Sue me, build your damn bridge - notice the pun? - and get on with your life. Not everything in life is black and white...sometimes there's that awful grey area that takes everything over and changes your entire life's point of view. Because, to be honest, it's easy to love in a world where there's only two sides. The righteous know they're doing what's right and keep happy in their morals while those who live in the dark revel in murder, thievery, and chaos. Sadly, the world doesn't work in just those two ways. If being a fan of The Walking Dead has taught me anything, it's probably that there are many decisions we have to make that only include doing something that goes against the self - if only to keep those you love alive just a little bit longer. That there are things we never thought we'd do are suddenly our only choice and that they'll tear us apart or alter our souls in a way that can never be fixed.

I don't want to have to live in a world where the line between right and wrong has blurred so bad that it's just a large hazy area. No, I think that's stupid. But, right now, it's the only choice I have.

I'd like to think that we could negotiate or that I won't this battle tonight change who I am. But I'd be kidding myself if I let myself believe it. Because I will be changed - physically, emotionally, mentally - and that's the truth. The outcome of tonight will not only change me, but how I perceive my world - because we'll either loose someone and that loss will ruin us, or we'll all survive and have become murderers...just like Paul. And I don't care that he couldn't control his wolf, all the people he killed have become a part of his conscience and I've felt the pain he tries to hide.

"Beks. Beks?" Suddenly I feel hands brushing my face, pushing hair out of the way to see me clearly. "I'm sorry if I upset you."

My mind finally catches up to the world around me and I realize he's wiping tears from my cheeks. "I didn't even know I was crying."

"Please tell me how to make it better?" He pleads, a hopeless look in his eyes.

Suddenly an idea comes to me. "Just take me home and hold me."

"To the old house?" He asks, nodding no matter the answer.

"No, the loft. Our home - the place that brought us together and gave us a family." I say, biting my lip to see what he thinks.

After he thinks over the words for a moment a huge grin starts to spread across his face, making me nervous. Furrowing my brow, I watch him curiously.

"What?" I say suspiciously.

"You just said 'our home,' like a place where it's just for us." His gleeful smile continues to grow as he says each word.

I smile in response. "I guess I did."

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Okay everybody!!!! What's going on with all you lovely people? Please comment on what you've all been up to - cause I really do want to get to know you all better, my wonderful readers!

Also, for those anticipating the next "photo on the side" - it's XANDER!!!!!! Yay, I love that manipulative little pain to death...even though he won't be participating in the big Blood Moon battle doesn't mean he isn't important - remember he was the first one Bekah "officially" met at school. Followed shortly by Trey - who suddenly became a werewolf at the end of My Wolf.

If you're the first to tell me the first thing he said to Bekah in the library you'll get a special shout out in the next chapter!

(Side note: if you haven't noticed, I went back and added a photo to each chapter and asked questions for each to give opportunities for shout outs and eventually other fun things. So check that out.)

Remember, if you have any questions or comments for the characters please check out the "He Said, She Said" project on my page - it's a place where you can speak with your favorite people any time you want. Which means you ask a character a question, they literally answer you back.

Always yours,

Kera