Old Habits - A Dele Alli//Jesse Lingard FanFiction

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Dele's POV:

I opened my eyes and looked down to see Kira cradled in my arms. I couldn't believe I had her back. After all this time, I thought I would never go back to the little moments like holding her in the morning, but for some reason, she took me back. I know she deserves better than me and it kills me that someone as precious as Kira had to go through everything she's gone through in her life. Before we fell asleep last night, we talked about her music career and how she was balancing all of that with her modelling too. It felt so amazing to speak to her again and just listening to her voice instantly put me at ease. I felt her roll over so she was now facing me and her eyes opened slowly. "Morning, sweetheart." I whispered as I kissed her forehead. She smiled and I felt her grip my hand under the cover. "You're warm." We laughed and I pulled my body away from hers before hearing her sigh at the loss of touch. "Who's going to make us breakfast if we're both lying in bed?" She sighed deeply before taking the cover off herself and joining me as we walked down the stairs together. This was all I could have ever asked for. Everyone who has come into my life has made an impact, but nobody has made the same impact Kira has. If I ever lose her, I know that I at least have these small memories to remember her. "So, what do you want for breakfast?" She asked. "I'll make it, I insist. You're the guest, after all." We both laughed and she sat down at the island.

Kira's POV:

Everything in my life was finally perfect. I had my dream guy, friends and family who all supported me and I have a job that makes me happy everyday. I knew that if life continued the way it was going, I would be happy for the rest of my life. Dele was cooking breakfast and just as he placed the plate in front of me, I heard my phone ringing upstairs. "I'll run up and get it."

"Hurry up, or you might come back and your food is gone!" I heard Dele shout as I ran up the stairs. I giggled to myself, why was he so perfect? I picked my phone up off the bed and saw it was Jordan. "Hey Jordan. Have you got some good news for me? Actually I need to tell you, me and Del are back together. Also I remembered that I need to tell you-"

"Kira. Kira, I need to tell you something. It's about Lily." His voice sounded weak, nervous like something was truly wrong. "What's wrong Jordan?" There was silence from his end of the line. He hadn't told me anything was wrong yet, but I felt that feeling. All of the negative feelings possible, just mixing together in the depth of my stomach. The butterflies that had erupted from being with Dele were now silenced, hid and petrified for whatever Jordan had to tell me. "Kira, I need to tell you something before you see the news. Please come to my house, now, and bring Dele alone. You're going to need someone." I heard the phone hand up and even though he hadn't said anything at all, I felt the tears begin to fall from my eyes and land on my cheeks. I ran down the stairs and put my shoes on. "Dele." I croaked as I walked into the kitchen. "Jordan's just called me, he told me I need to go to his. Something's wrong Del. Something's really wrong." Tears were now streaming down my face. Dele pulled me into a hug and kissed the top of my head. "Come on, Kiki. I'll drive you."

The whole drive I sat in there,  overthinking everything. We pulled up into the driveway, but I didn't want to get out the car. I didn't want to have to face whatever Jordan had to tell me. I'd enjoyed living in a bubble for the past few days, but life, well it always come back to fuck everything up. "It's okay, Kira. You've got me." Dele held my hand as I got out the car and put his arm around my waist. We walked up to the door and Dele knocked on it. Jordan opened the door and I could see his eyes were now puffy and red; he'd been crying, it was obvious. "You should come inside, Kira."

We sat down in the living room and I looked around seeing Lily's mom and dad and her younger brother, Ben. Her mom was sobbing and her dad was holding her close to his chest. "Sit down, Kira." Jordan whispered as he ushered me onto the sofa. "What's wrong, Jordan?"

"Yesterday afternoon, Lily let the house in her car." His voice was breaking as he spoke. "She was driving and apparently there was a guy who was driving pretty recklessly and he ran a red light and then-" He stopped and tears began to stream down his face. This was the first time I'd ever seen Jordan cry; something was seriously wrong and I didn't want to admit it but deep down, I knew was he was trying to say. "Is she-" I couldn't get the words out my mouth so I looked to Dele. "Is she dead?" He asked, placing a hand on my shoulder. Jordan nodded, resulting in a loud sob from Jordan and a cry from Lily's mom. "This is my fault, this is all my fault." I whispered to myself. Jordan looked up at me and placed his hand on mine. "You weren't driving the car, you've done nothing wrong."

"But she only left the house because of me. I left the documents in my house for the tour and I was going to visit Dele. I called her to cancel our lunch and I asked if she would go and get them for me. That's the only reason she left the house. She died, and it was all my fault." I felt Dele's grip harden on my shoulder and his presence sit beside me on the sofa. His arm snaked around my body and I nuzzled my head into his neck, sobbing at the thought of losing my best friend. "You didn't kill her, Kira. It was just unfortunate timing." I heard Lily's mom say. "It's true, Kira. My sister loved you and she would have done anything for you. You haven't done anything wrong." Ben said as he held his mother's hand. "No, you killed her." I heard someone say. I lifted my head up from Dele's chest. Jordan was now standing up so he looked down on me. "It is your fucking fault." I got up off the chair and tried to walk towards him but he pushed me away when I got near. "Please, Jord. I've lost one best friend, don't let me lose another."

"Oh, boo-hoo Kira. Make everything about you again. These two people have lost their daughter. This kid has lost his older sister and I've lost the love of my life. She got up out of bed yesterday, kissed me and I carried on watching Netflix, knowing she'd be angry when she got home that I carried on with the series without her, but she couldn't. Because she was lying in her car after being thrown across the road by some smashed dude and the only reason she was in that car in the first place was because of you. You're the reason I never even got to tell her how madly I was in love with her. I said goodbye so carelessly, but that was the last goodbye I ever got and it's your fault." Tears were streaming relentlessly down my face. These cruel words hurt, but as he went on, they became so real and true. It was my fault. It was all my fault. "Get out." He whispered. I looked up at him. "I said, get out my fucking house!" He screamed. I picked my coat up and ran out the door, soon followed by Dele. We both made it to the car and as I got in, the tears continued to flow from my eyes. "It's my fault, Dele. It's all my fault. I killed her. I killed my best friend." He kissed my forehead and shushed me as he pulled me into my hug. How was I going to carry on now? She was my best friend. The greatest friend I could have ever asked for, and now she was gone.