[warning: personal recount of anxiety attacks is in the chapter. it is my own experience and only read that part of you are confident that ready about anxiety will not set you off]
Brooke's POV
"What was that?" I swear my heart had skipped a beat, but this time not from Brady's words or touch.
"I don't know," Brady's hand found mine and he effortlessly intertwined our fingers. He brought my hand to his lips and gave it a small kiss.
"Did all the power go off?" I wondered out loud, "Because if the lights and heart are gone..." I didn't finish the sentence because suddenly I was gasping for air.
Brady squeezed my hand and quietly whispered, "Deep breaths. What can you feel? List them."
•••
"Brady!" I was gasping for air.
"Brooke!" Brady was sprinting over to me, "What's happening?"
"I... can't... breath," I felt a stabbing in my chest and the pressure pushing on my lungs increased.
"Brooke!" Brady was terrified now. His face was blurred from my tears, but I could still see the fear in his eyes.
"It hurts," I was sobbing now. The floor of his bedroom provided little comfort but that was the farthest thing from my mind.
"I'm getting my mom," Brady sprinted from the room and reappeared moments later with his mom.
"Brooke?" Brady's mom knelt beside me, "Honey, I need you to take a deep breathe."
"I can't," I felt another stab of pain in my gut, "It hurts."
"Mom, what's happening?" Brady appeared in my line of vision.
"Brooke, I need you to picture yourself in your happiest memory. Focus on that picture. Can you feel the materials around you? The sand? The grass?" Brady's mom's soothing tone gave me the strength to picture the first day I met Brady, "Can you see it?"
"Yes," The pressure on my lungs and chest was lifting.
"Can you feel it?"
"Yes," I felt the cold desk and the chilly air conditioning.
"Now, I need you to count five things you can feel right now." This question took me by surprise. However, I did as Brady's mom requested.
"I feel the carpet, the belt around my waist, the cold metal of my necklace, the bruise I got yesterday at practice, and I feel Brady looking at me."
When I stopped talking I realized the pressure and the stabbing was gone.
"What just happened?" Brady asked once my breath was even.
"Brooke, you had an anxiety attack," Brady's mom grabbed my hand, "Brady's uncle used to get them so I learned the best way to calm him down."
"Thank you," I felt embarrassed to have overreacted, "I know I was over dramatic."
"Honey," Brady's mom now releases my hand and lightly touched my face, "Don't ever be sorry. I know it's hard and impossible to predict or control. You handled it amazing and I'm so proud of you for fighting."
•••
"Brooke," Brady was gripping my hand harder, "List them."
"Your hand. Your jacket sleeve. The couch beneath me. The ring on my left thumb." The words were slow but each one came with less gasping.
"Good job," Brady brought me closer. He kissed my lips slowly, not missing despite the lack of light.
"You still remember?" I was stunned that Brady had calmed my anxiety attack in seconds.
"Of course," I knew Brady was smiling, "Once you had the first one I researched ways I could help."
"I love you," I still couldn't believe I could say these words out loud without fear, "Pinky swear to stay by each other's side?"
Pinky swearing had always been a thing with us. Making a pinky swear was the equivalent to the "Unbreakable Vow" in Harry Potter.
"Pinky swear," Brady laugh seemed loud in the silence and darkness of the school, "I don't plan on ever losing you again."
////
Well hello everyone...
I do wanna address the topic of this chapter: panic/anxiety attacks.
This topic is every personal as someone who frequently has anxiety attacks, I wrote what I feel during my own panic attack. The sharp pain and the pressure are my biggest indicators that my anxiety is beginning to take hold of my body. I hope this chapter could give any bit of insight into what an anxiety attack can feel like (there are many different experiences and I am in no way attempting to victimize myself but rather inform on a topic that is very personal... anyway thank u for reading this long winded authors note.
ALSO UM 30.6k?!?!?!? THANK YOU SO MYCH I CANT EVEN BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING I AM SO GRATEFUL.
Lots of love,
Izzy
YOU ARE READING
The One Who Left
Genç Kurgu• He broke my heart. I broke her heart. • I can never forgive him. I can never forgive myself. /// Brooke and Brady. These were two names that were always said together. Brooke and Brady. Best friends since middle school. They tell each other eve...
