One Last Chance: A Nymphadora Tonks and Remus Lupin Love Story

A Letter to You

Because it was bothering me that there were only 69 parts in this story, I've written this. I hope you like it.

My dearest, Dora, 

I find myself writing to you, because one, I love you more than anything in the world, and two, you deserve to know everything. I'm writing this review first day of May. You're asleep beside me. I know what'll happen soon, and I might lose my life and I want you and Teddy to know everything.

I couldn't believe the first time I laid eyes on you. With your hair and laughter, it was impossible for me to not notice you. Every time I heard a laugh or a chuckle, I'd look up, and see you. You sat next to me, not caring about how I looked. You knew nothing about me. Yet you didn't judge me first. I'll always love you for that. You greeted me kindly, and upon finding out who I really was, you didn't change. You never changed seats. You were as kind to me as you had been the first time we met.

We'd gone on missions and I was so scared. When you fell and got hit that first time, I didn't know what to do. This was all so frightening. And you. You, my love, have the brightest personality I've ever seen, and yet that seemed gone in an instant. It scared me to bits.

I'd quickly fallen for you, but I didn't think you'd see me that way, so I tried to abandon my feelings. You'd never love someone like me.

I hadn't known you were related to Sirius and I'd thought I'd lost your heart to him. By the easy way you both talked and bantered, I hope you can understand why.

Then we became friends... I couldn't believe that either. You wanted to be my friend and casually chat with me? I'd known most people tolerated my existence, yet you've done this of your free will.

Then, you'd told me (well, it was implied) that you'd loved me. You would never be able to comprehend the happiness I felt. The elation that filled my heart. The fluttering feeling in my chest. I wanted to kiss you then and there.

It had crushed me soon after that even if we'd survived, we couldn't ever get married or have a family because of who I was. (I suppose that was changed quite quickly.)

On full moons, I always found my feet running to your home. You healed me without a moment of hesitation. You smiled upon seeing me. (More tried to, seeing me bloody and covered in dirt was a shock to you, I guessed.) I never did understand your unconditional kindness.

Then we'd kissed for the first time. That warm feeling spread through me. I felt so much love for you. The first time... I didn't believe how lucky I was. Your soft lips and your hands running through my hair. How could I be the one you'd picked? It was something I had dreamed about for such a long time, and then it really happened. But it scared me. I'd realized I could never love you, as much as I wanted to, and as much as you wanted to. What of my lycanthropy? I could hurt you. I would be a burden. Not just physically, but mentally. How would we ever be able to survive? I could never find a job because of the Ministry, and I could never curse you like that.

And then, Sirius had died.

Who was the first to comfort me? You, only you. As much as both of our hearts ached, I found comfort in you. You had some much of your own humor, making others laugh even though you were in so much pain. You'd cried with me, making me feel not alone. You became my everything. Occasionally, I'd missed Sirius teasing me about you, because it let me think about you. Anything other than this war.

Your eyes. Your hair. Your smile. Everything about you. You, my love. Dora, I couldn't stop thinking about you. You were always running through my mind.

I'd fallen for so hard for you. I wanted to believe that maybe if I didn't seem to return affections, you'd find someone else. Do not blame me for this, my dear, I beg of you. I'd left and went on death defying missions so you'd forget about me. Or maybe I'd die, you'd be able to move on. You'd never be cursed living a life with me, a werewolf. Someone who could barely scrape by. I couldn't do nice things for you because of money issues.