My Miss Blue Rose (Royal Astra #01 and #1.5)

Catching A Falling Star- 27

-Reina-

LOLO RICARDO died three days after. Hindi naging madali para sa amin pero kailangan naming tanggapin. We all know that he died happy and free. Nakuha niya ang kapatawarang gusto niyang makuha. Nakalaya siya sa totoong sakit na nagpahirap sa kanya sa loob nang mahabang panahon. I could still remember what he told me few hours before he died.

"Thank you, Empress. Thank you for making me happy. Thank you for granting me my last wish. Promise me that you will be happy. Take care of your parents... of yourself. Be strong. I will always be here even if I'm gone. At kapag sinaktan ka pa ni Laurence, mumultuhin ko siya."

"You miss him?" nilingon ko ang babaeng lumapit sa akin at bahagyang ngumiti. Pinunasan ko ang luhang tumakas sa aking mga mata. She wore a simple white shirt and black slacks. Taliwas sa sopistikada at refined na babaeng inihaharap niya sa mundo.

"So much," mahina kong bulong at pinigilan ang aking luha.

"I miss him, too, it's more than forty-five years that I have missed him," aniya na yumuko para tingnan ang puntod ni Lolo. "Forty-five years that I wished things were different. Alam ko sa sarili ko na hindi nawala ang pagmamahal ko kay Ricardo. Maraming taon na inalagaan ko ang galit ko sa kanya pero sa kabila niyon ay inalagaan ko rin ang pagmamahal ko."

Natigilan ako sa sinabi ni Lola Rosalie dahil iyon din mismo ang sinabi ko noon sa sarili ko. Nagawa ko ring magalit kay Laurence noon. Nang dahil sa sobrang galit na iyon ay naging sarado ang isip ko. Ngunit patuloy na nanaig ang pagmamahal. Kahit bigyan ko pa ng maraming dahilan ang aking sarili para kamuhian si Laurence ay hindi siya nawala sa puso ko.

"I really do hope that you will find it in your heart to forgive me for what I have said and done. I was too scared to be connected with your Lolo again. I was angry. I'm sorry if I have messed with you and Laurence, I lost my faith in trusting any members of your family because of the pain that I had been through. I made wrong decisions. I envy you, hija." Humarap siya sa akin. Kitang kita ko ang lungkot sa kanyang mga mata. Ang pagsisisi. Ang panghihinayang.

"Because you are strong. Because you never gave up. I thought I was strong because I was able to control anyone. Because I was able to get whatever I want... except for the thing that I really wanted." Muli siyang yumuko. Bahagyang sumilay ang kanyang ngiti.

"Happiness. I am still not that happy even if I have forgiven him. I still blame myself for throwing away all of my chances. But I know, someday... I would also find my happiness. In another lifetime, maybe, I could correct all the things that were wrong. I would feel how it is to fall in love again. Don't be like me. Don't be deceived by pain. Never misconceptualize anger with hatred. I never hated Ricardo. During the past decades, I told myself that I hate him but my system knew that wasn't true. Love never left. It was just anger that consumed me." Ngumiti siya ng matabang.

"Do you know what Ricardo told me before he died?" umiling ako. Bigla ay nacurious ako sa kung ano'ng pinag-usapan nila noon. Ang tanging alam ko lang ay nabigyang linaw na ang mga maling nangyari noon. Napatawad na nila ang isa't isa.

"He told me that things happen because they should. More than forty-five years of separation served its purpose. You know what that is?" Muli siyang ngumiti. Nakakapanibago na makita siyang nakangiti. All this time, I saw her as the person who hated the world so much. Hindi nga niya yata alam ang salitang ngiti. "It's you and Laurence."

"Be happy," aniya at tinapik ako sa balikat bago tuluyang umalis.

• ♥•♥•♥•

"CAN we talk?"

Binasa ko ang text message sa akin ni Rondell. Ilang araw ko rin siyang hindi nakita. Wala siya noong libing ni Lolo. Ang sabi sa akin ni Laurence ay may importanteng inaasikaso si Rondell na hindi niya basta maiwan.