Worth The Risk

15

Dinah
When I walked out of the office building with my schedule, a slip for the teachers to sign and a map of the school, Sam was waiting for me. He pulled me close and kissed me before putting an arm around my shoulders and walking me to our home room class.

I noticed Normani sitting quietly at the back of the class with her earphones in. I could tell just by the way she sat that she was uncomfortable. Her shoulders were hunched over and she stared down at her hands which were probably playing with the hem of her hoodie to pass he time. I could only imagine the thoughts that were going through her head, how she possibly regretted her decision to come back to school. I didn't know much about why she was even home schooled in the first place but from what Arielle had said, school wasn't easy for Normani as a child, and it wouldn't be any easier now.

She looked up suddenly and our eyes met. Then like a light turning on in a pitch black room, her eyes lit up and she smiled. Normani had one of those smiles that made you forget all the bad shit in the world even if for just a moment. Maybe it was just me, but every time she smiled at me, like really smiled, it felt like the ever expanding sun had toppled down and decided to make its new home my chest.

I smiled in return, I couldn't not return it, but I quickly caught myself, remembering the promise that I made. I watched sadly as her smile died faster than fragments of a dream disappear when you first wake up. I raised my hand to wave then suddenly thought better of it. That was the deal, I had to treat her like I would treat any stranger to prove that she didn't mean anymore to me than any of our other friends did.

–Flashback–

I hadn't been able to stop thinking about yesterday's kiss which was slightly inconvenient, especially when I was making out with my boyfriend. I saw Sam and Normani talking afterwards, the conversation seemed serious, but he reassured me that everything that happened that night would be forgotten, but we were never playing again.

I felt the bulge in his jeans grow bigger the more that I kept grinding on his crotch. Sam trailed kissed down my neck, and for a moment I forgot about Normani, her lips and her hands making the dream that I'd had about her a reality.

He kept kissing me as he unbuttoned my shirt, well his shirt. We weren't going to go all the way, not for a while, but it couldn't hurt to have a little fun in the process; those were my sister's words. So when he figured out my front clipping bra, I didn't stop him from undoing the clip, I didn't need to.

'Mani please...'

We both froze, realizing whose name I had said. One minute I was on top of my boyfriend and the next I was alone on his bed and he was standing on the other side of the room looking wounded and angry.

'Sam—'

'–do you want her? I asked her if she wanted you, if I should just do the honorable thing and step aside and she said no. She's attracted to you but she doesn't see you that way. But maybe I should have asked you that question instead of her.'

'Sam I'm with you, and I want you. I was thinking about Mani and Z and instead of saying your name, hers slipped out but I swear to you it meant nothing. I don't see her that way.'

He still looked unconvinced, at least that was what I thought it was until he said, 'prove it.'

I took his shirt off and started to unbutton my jeans. Sam was on the bed in an instant, stopping my hands. 'No not that, you said you wanted to wait so we'll wait.'

'Then what? I'll do anything.'

'Stay away from her, treat her like you would any other stranger if it really meant nothing.'