Worth The Risk

48

I imagine whispering your name into sunflowers
Whilst my friends call me crazy in love
The sound of your laughter echoing my name
If you come in a bottle
I will gladly watch you
Age like wine
I imagine your smile
Awakening butterflies

I haven't thought about our wedding day
But I have imagined the one after
The day when we awaken as one
After our worlds have collided
As nature designed
With our scents finally melded together like milk and honey
Honey, I've been waiting for you
Since before there was a You for me

'Okay how was that?' I asked as I came out of the booth. Dinah wanted to include a short spoken word piece as an interlude between two of the songs she had written for the album and I helped her write it. It had taken some convincing but I agreed to be the one to perform the piece.

'It was good, it's been good every time you recorded it babe. Can we work on the other interlude? I had an idea for the background vocals. I want to try it out before I forget what it was.'

'Sure.'

I had spent the two weeks going to the studio or rehearsals with Dinah except for the two days when I really had to go into the office. It was my attempt to show here that she mattered and that I wasn't angry about her rejecting me. Okay "reject" is the wrong word. She said, "not yet," and explained why she wasn't ready and on an intellectual level, I agreed with her decision, I understood it. I was the one who said that if she wasn't ready, we weren't ready. But I felt like we knew more than enough about each other and were already planning on spending the rest of our lives together anyway, so all marriage would do was legalize that and give her half of everything I owned. We would just be saying the things that we said to each other on a daily basis in front of an audience.

I felt guilty for feeling anything but understanding.
That was also part of the reason that I agreed to be involved in any aspect of the album making process whenever she asked.

I sat on the couch on one side of the room so I could see Nick and Dinah working. I tried to concentrate on what I was supposed to be doing, but my eyes kept drifting to the blonde whose brow was furrowed in concentration. It wasn't until I had typed her name several times into my code that I decided to put programming aside for the time being. I opened up a note on my laptop but no words came to mind as I tried to formulate what I was feeling. So I shut my laptop and went to where the instruments were. Dinah and Nick needed to concentrate so I couldn't use the drum kit.

I ended up at the keyboard since it was the only instrument that I felt comfortable playing around and improvising on. Everything fell away as soon as I started playing. At some point the movement of my fingers stopped being random. My fingers moved across the keys of their own volition, familiar chords that I had played several times over the years expressing feelings that I didn't even know I was feeling.

I completely forgot about my potential audience until I heard the sound of the door opening. My eyes opened and I saw Dinah standing in the doorway watching me with an unfathomable look in her eyes. 'That was beautiful, did you write that?'

'Yeah a while back, it's just been stuck in my head lately. I guess it's what's going on inside my head. Where's Nick?'

'Oh he left. It's been a really long day. Tara wanted to talk to us about something before we leave.'

'Did she say what it was about?'

'I don't know, you know Tara,' Dinah answered with a shrug.

The older woman was chatting with Dinah's cousin Hoko. She made us sit on one of the couches and pulled up a chair to sit in front of us.