Lights Out Boys

Chapter Thirty Four: The Rictus On Her Face Is Unexplainable

Thank you @ssassy523 for the beautiful song suggestion! This chapter goes to you...

Song: I'm Sorry

Artist: Curlybamm

The Rictus On Her Face Is Unexplainable

Blake

Three days left before we go to Illinois and I come back to stay here. Of all days we came here, it had to be today. Although I'm glad because I don't think I said goodbye the last time, we just left. The least I could do now, was say hello before I lived here for good.

We walked upon rows and rows of tombstones, each lined up perfectly but stood out with its flowers and height. I trailed behind Lana and caught myself thinking of what happened at my house a few days ago. We barely spoke since then, I guess we didn't have the chance to be alone because since then, we've all been together. We visited the house every day to clean up, and Axel and I would meet up with Uncle Sterling to discuss the Motor Shops. When I did have time, Lana would be with Dmitri. I understood that she didn't want to get into a relationship anytime soon, it only occurred to me that Benny must've meant that much. Another reason would be that, she said we're starting college soon and would've wanted to see how that went first. 

Though, there was one that's been on my mind for a while as I focused on the back of her striped tee. My gaze lowered to her crutches where I recalled the times' people would ask how she was doing and she'd say, I'm taking it day by day. Maybe it meant more than her recovery from the fire, perhaps it was everything, and she decided to take it all, day by day. We continued to walk past the graves of many loved ones, entirely taken care of by the graveyard custodians who either got paid well or enjoyed well-tendered lawns, decorative flowerbeds, mourners sniffling or a polished headstone. 

The sun shone brightly onto dad's tombstone when we arrived, and Tamia set down a bunch of red tulips that added a splash of color. I watched as Momma kneeled over, and using two fingers she pecked her lips and ran it along the headstone. Axel was next and mumbled something under his breath with a deadpanned look. Lana was beside me, and when she looked up at me, I knew I was next. I didn't know what to do so I crouched down on my knees and took in the smell of the fresh flowers as I ran my fingers along the edges of the carved letters. The freshly cut grass prickled against my jeans but I tried to ignore it. Dad only occupied my mind for that moment and how I was going to be one step closer to him. He's always been with me, but I haven't entirely been there for him but hope I can be and live out his inheritance.

"Blake," Lana whispered as I felt a tap on my shoulder. I looked up and squinted my eyes at Lana's silhouette since she half blocked out the sun. She turned her head to the right, and I followed her gaze where Ursula stood, a few tombstones away from us, under a tree. 

I let out a sigh and let everyone know I'd be back. Ursula twiddled with her fingers as I took my time to approach her with hands shoved in my back pockets. She avoided eye contact as I passed a couple who prayed in front of a grave but felt unsteady when I heard the quaver in their voices like they'd burst into tears at any moment. That's one thing I tried to avoid when I visited dad.

"How'd you know we'd be here?" I asked not entirely surprised by her presence.

"It's your birthday, why wouldn't you be here." She grinned, but all I did was glance over my shoulder where I found Momma with her head in her hands as she cried. Axel wrapped his arm around her shoulder while Tamia and Lana awkwardly lowered their gaze. Ursula cleared her throat which made me turn back to her when she added, "Happy birthday, Blake."

"Thanks, is that all?"

"You haven't been answering my calls, so I assumed you weren't one to speak over the phone so I sent you a bunch of messages..."