Lights Out Boys

Chapter Sixteen: The Irremediable Girl

Thank you @rockellaswift for the cool cover!!

Song: Next to me

Artist: Emeli Sande

The Irremediable Girl

Lana

Four days. Four days since it happened at Ethan's house. Four days since I've felt something in my legs. Ever since those four days, there's been a wry silence in me. Everyone knew what happened by now, but no one knew what it felt like. I thought I could've walked again but to go to the Physiotherapist and not move destroyed me. I tried to get up from the wheelchair but I couldn't without the help of the Physiotherapist.

I distinctly remembered what happened after the ice cream landed on me. Everyone freaked out while others cheered, but I didn't know how to feel. Benny took me home early where we called the doctor and Tanya. They arrived the evening to do a checkup, and I felt a little tingle. The doctor informed my parents, and we had an appointment with the Physiotherapist the next day. Our expectations were set too high because when I barely picked myself up from the wheelchair, I wanted to go home.

It's my fifth session today, and like every other session, I stared at the parallel bars. To walk looked easy but since I've been in a wheelchair for quite a while, I guess I was afraid I might fail. My nurse, Tanya was here to me support as well as Benny and of course my mother. I couldn't have chosen better people to be here.

"Lana, are you ready?" the Physiotherapist's voice snapped me out of my thoughts. I breathed in and exhaled as I looked at the bars again. I looked up at her head and slowly nodded, "Great, just like we practiced."

I wanted to smile, but when she mentioned practiced, I turned to the bars again. What she meant by practiced was her encouragement to push me, literally. I squeezed the handles of my wheelchair as I tried to push myself up with the help of Tanya. She rested her hand on my back and hovered the other in front of me in case I fell, just like the first thirty times.

"Take your time hun," Tanya whispered as she rubbed my back for reassurance since the Physiotherapist came on my other side and helped. My hands trembled as Tanya held them while the Physiotherapist took over and pulled me up to my feet.

My grip tightened around them because I didn't want to fall. I looked at the bars which seemed closer, but before I reached out to them, I looked around. I almost had eye level with Tanya as she smiled at me. Neither of us thought we'd be able to be that close.

When I looked at the bars again, Benny stood on the other side as he waited with a bright smile. That motivated me to move before I didn't have the strength back. With the help of the woman on either side of me, they guided me toward the bars. My feet barely moved as I let them drag me on the tiles. I stopped between the bars, and that's when things got trickier.

"Just like how we practiced." She whispered for the millionth time and put my right hand on the right bar while Tanya did the left. They stepped back as my grip tightened around the bars. I looked at either of them and noticed how white my knuckles went.

"Come on Lana." Benny's voice caused me to look up at him. It felt like when a parent called their baby to walk toward them, and they'd immediately follow, but I barely moved. I bit the inside of my cheek in frustration as I tried not to cry because I couldn't do it.

I lifted my left hand to move and almost fell forward if Benny hadn't rushed over and helped me. As soon as his arms wrapped around me and he rested my head against his chest the tears fell. I couldn't get it, it's like the first session repeatedly. No progress.

"It's okay, no rush, you'll get it." He whispered as I felt his hands go down so that he picked me up and place me back in the wheelchair.

I bit the inside of my cheek and twirled the ring to calm myself. Whispers and murmurs came from behind me, but I didn't raise my gaze. I didn't want to look at those bars that I couldn't cross. I didn't want to see how I failed. The Psychotherapist's heels echoed against the tiles and got louder as she approached me. I looked up and noticed the iPad she held in her hand as she worked.