Satisfaction [NCT]

9.

The minute Jungwoo steps inside the school, Lucas interlocks their hands. It has become a routine they do every day. If Jungwoo's parents take him to school, the boys have to wait until they are inside, in case Jungwoo's family sees him holding hands with another boy.

Jungwoo must keep up a certain image up for his parents to see. Someone who is safe and has no distractions in life. Soccer is the most daring thing his parents allow him to do. even dating Joy is seen as a distraction for Jungwoo, his parents don't agree with, but they know they can't "break them up". Everything else is done in secret.

Jungwoo is seen as well-behaved to almost everyone that sees him. He doesn't talk much in class, but anyone who gets to truly know him, knows he is anything but good. Jungwoo wishes he could be good, but he knows the cost of being well-behaved. He won't be able to be with Lucas or have their intimate times. He loves being with Lucas, and he loves his parents, but he can't please the both of them. He has to either choose one, or live a strained double life, full of acting and pain.

———

(trigger warning)

———

On Monday, Mark had his normal, healthy lunch. An apple and a salad, paired with a water bottle he has already filled up twice today. Mark knows that he is bigger than the average person on the  swim team. He is shorter than most, yet he weighs the same as them. He noticed the difference last year, ever since he has been trying to work out more and eat healthier, cutting back on many calories he needs.

He's seen great results, his weight decreasing, his speed increasing, and his looks couldn't be better. He is very comfortable with how skinny he has become, just by eating salad for lunch everyday. To him, it's not worrying. Everyone else is proud of him for having the drive to eat healthy. His parents are just proud of him for not becoming a fat teenager, they don't see anything wrong with Mark either. They don't understand the harm Mark is doing to himself.

Ten had nowhere else to sit. His only friends were at the popular table. He knew he should've made other friends before breaking off his only connection he made here. It's too late for that now. The past week had been awkward for him, sitting next to the man he turned down. Today he changed it. He sat on the other side of the table from Taeyong, where Mark usually was. When Mark got there, he furrowed his eyebrows at the sight, but took his place next to Taeyong, where Ten usually sat. Taeyong peeked up from his lunch to see Mark.

"Hey Mark." He almost whispered with a monotone voice.

"Hey Taeyong, how are you?"

"I'm doing great, how are you?" Taeyong said, trying to have a conversation, to keep himself from looking at the boy sitting across from him.

"Uh... well I'm alright, I think I was sick this weekend, so I still don't feel amazing still but I'm better." Mark admitted to Taeyong.

"Do you know what you had?" Taeyong asked, genuinely curious. Mark shook his head.

"No, but it started at the meet." He explained. "If you couldn't tell I didn't do my best on our relay."

"I could tell something was wrong. I just figured you had an off day, but you being sick makes more sense. Luckily, that meet didn't count much as long as we didn't get last." Taeyong attempted to make Mark feel better.

In response, Mark smiled. "Yeah, I just didn't feel well. I don't know what's wrong, it's alright now though, just a bit dizzy." Taeyong believed his friend when he said he felt fine, but once he said he felt dizzy, Taeyong got worried.

"Mark, you shouldn't feel dizzy. Have you drank enough water?" Taeyong asked.

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure." He lifted up his water bottle and took a drink as if to prove his point.

"What'd you have for breakfast?" Taeyong made Mark uncomfortable with his question. Mark didn't have any breakfast but he didn't want to let Taeyong know that.

"I had some cereal and a protein bar." He lied.

"Hmm..." Taeyong hummed while thinking. "I don't know, man. I hope you feel better soon, and get better before the meet later." He smiled at his friend before remembering the entire reason they started this conversation.

Ten was minding his own business, eating the food he bought from the school. He wasn't talking to anyone else at the table. If Taeyong was honest with himself, he felt bad for cutting Ten out of all of his conversations. Taeyong wanted to hurt Ten for hurting him, but in the end, it just hurt Taeyong more to see him alone. It's Ten's fault anyway, he is the one that rejected Taeyong. Ten is the one who ended the friendship. As many times as Taeyong could tell himself that, he never fully believed it. He didn't think Ten deserved this, even though he brought all this pain to Taeyong.

———

(another trigger warning)

———

Life is cruel.
Life is unfortunate.
Life is difficult.
But only through life can you feel love. Love makes life worth living.
So what happens when the person you love dies?

Some people find other reasons to live. For now, the only thing keeping him alive is his friendship with Jaehyun. Jaehyun has always been so nice to him. He is glad to have found him. The minute he called Jaehyun about the death of Yeri, Jaehyun left his job and rushed over to his house with a suitcase of clothes. He was there for his friend when it mattered most. He comforted his friend as much as he could, even though Jaehyun was also breaking into pieces at the news.

Although Jaehyun still had to go to work during the summer, every night he would come home to his friends house and make sure he was doing alright mentally. He took care of his friend throughout the summer, carrying all the emotional weight he could.

He was there the night it all ended for his friend. He had planned to sleep until two then wake up to make sure his friend was okay, the same thing he did every night. That night he slept through his alarm, waking up his friend instead, who walked over and turned it off, determined to not let Jaehyun wake.

People thought he was better. People thought he was happy. But in reality, it was just the calm before the storm.

———

Summary for Trigger Warnings:

First trigger warning: readers find out Mark is suffering from an eating disorder, anorexia. Taeyong tried to ignore Ten who was sitting across from him. Taeyong feels bad for ignoring Ten and wishes he didn't want to hurt him, but he wants Ten to feel pain like he did.

Second trigger warning: readers learn more about the events leading up to the death of Jaehyun's friend. They learn that Jaehyun had been there that night but was asleep when it all happened. They learn that Jaehyun was putting himself through emotional pain to take care of himself and his friend.