✓ 𝐝𝐨𝐫𝐛𝐲𝐧 𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐬 𝟏

020

warnings: mentions of suicide

c o r b y n  b e s s o n

dear daniel,

it's been a year without you baby. i miss you so fucking much, like you don't understand. i hope that somehow you get these letters that i write for you every night, because i want you to know how much everyone misses you.

it's not only me that misses you like crazy though. tyler does too. i know he's only four, and he doesn't understand what you did, but he knows that your in a special place now. where everyone is treated equally, and there are no people that will say mean things about other people to hurt their feelings.

he's a clever little boy. i just wish you could be here with me to watch him grow up. he's come so far. even though we were told he won't be able to speak properly, he's learning.

his first word was daddy, and that's what he calls you now. he calls me dada, so i know who he's going on about.

i just wish that you had told me how you felt. so that i could of helped you, and so that you wouldn't of gone into such a bad state.

i feel like it's my fault that you killed yourself, because i didn't know what you were going through. i didn't realise that my own husband was suffering.

i'm so, so sorry baby. so sorry. if i'd have known you would still be here right now, running around the house and playing knights with tyler again. cuddling me in our bed before we go to sleep every night. dropping tyler off at school and then going to work with zach and jack.

your still such a massive part of everyone's life. we visit your grave every sunday after church and place your favourite flower there.

tyler once wrote your name on a piece of paper and i got it tattooed on my wrist so that i can look at it every time i want to remember you. don't get me wrong, it hurt, but it was completely worth it.

i know that in your letter you told me to find someone who will treat me better than you did. but daniel you are the only person who has my heart and you always will. you and tyler are the lights of my life, even if your gone your soul is still with us.

your like our guardian angel. you watch over us and make sure that we're okay. that's what tyler thinks, and it's adorable every time he draws pictures of you watching over us with a halo over your head and extravagant wings coming out of your back.

yesterday was our fifth year anniversary. it's been five years since the day i married you; one of the best days of my life it was. i just wish you were here to spend the anniversary with me like we used to. we'd go to the beach that we met at and just sit watching the sunset in each other's arms.

i really do hope your getting these letters, because i love you so much. please remember me like i will remember you for the rest of my life. until the day i die will i remember you. i will wait until it's my time to leave this world and see you again.

i just wish i could see you now though. i wish everything could go back to normal, and we could be a happy family again.

it's not the same without you, but we still live normally with the hope that you're forever watching over us.

lots of love, corbyn seavey

your husband.

[ a/n ]

my best friend is drunk and he just asked out his crush and now he's freaking out on a skype call with me. he's fucking hopeless i swear.

-megan