It's Him I love

The Realisation 2

"I love Tae, yoongiyaaaa"

I never realised until this moment that I loved my manga man. My manga man, my Tae. Wow! I am in love with a guy? Wow!

Yoongi, Jimin, Namjoon and I went to see Tae and Kook. They both were injured but thank god, the doctor said their vitals are stable and so they will get well soon. Jimin took Namjoon to get him something to eat. Yoongi and I were sitting in front of the ICU.

"Jin..?"

"Hmm?"

"Are you sure?"

"Sure about what?"

"That you love him?"

"I do."

"So you are not doing this out of haste right?"

"What do you mean?"

"Jin... you clearly like him. I can see that. But I am not sure whether you love him. I don't want you to use that term easily around him. He is gay. He came out to you. He let you call him Tae. He told you about his parents. He trusts you more and more with every passing day. So if you say that you love him, he will believe you. He will fall for it. He will expect you to be his lover, to be his everything. The question is whether you are ready for all that? Whether you are really in love or just confusing your feelings for him? Can you imagine yourself being intimate with him? Can you imagine yourself having a life with him? If you had confusing thoughts to even one of these questions, then it's better for you to keep your thoughts to yourself. Never let him know. Let's not hurt him Jin-ah."

Every word that Yoongi told was getting hammered into my skull. Is he right?

"Uurrrrgggggg!!!"

"Think well. Don't stress, but think. Don't do anything unless you are sure." Yoongi said. For some reason I respect him now more than any other day. He could have gladly congratulated me for being in love with a man and went with his life. He didn't. He thought for me. He thought for Tae. He is my bestest friend ever.

Now I really need to think. Tae? How can Yoongi be sure that he loves me too? What if I tell him and then he doesn't reciprocate my feelings? What will happen to our friendship.

"Yoongiya? Can I tell you something?"

"Tell me. What is it?"

"I really love him Yoongi. I havent felt this way before. You know how I question every intricate part of my dates and ruin them? Now thinking about my time with Tae, I have never once questioned our closeness. I have never once felt that we were overdoing it. I always felt that we belonged with eachother. But yes, until today I thought it was friendship. But that skinship, that closeness can't be just friendship. I really can think of being with him until the end. I am yet not sure about the intimacy part. But I want to try everything with him. From being just a friend to the best lover, I wanna be his everything. Is that fine for a confession?"

"Please repeat this same to him. Don't try to bring your sarcastic ass into it."

"What? You now think I should tell him?"

"You love him Jin-ah. I can see that. I was just trying to make you understand the depth of your feeling. You guys have been in love for a while. I could see that."

"How can you be so sure that he loves me?"

"My gaydar has never been wrong. So just trust me."

"You couldn't find my gayness until now.."

"You think?" he smirked.

This adorable jerk.

We heard the doctors footsteps towards the ICU. We stood up to see what they got to tell us. Surprisingly they had a bright face.
The attending doctor looked at me and said, "Their X-rays look fine.Both of their injuries are not severe. They appear to be bruised a lot, but their bones or muscles aren't damaged severely. They both had difficulty in breathing and that was why we put them in ICU. But now they are both fine and they will be moved to general ward by morning. The nurse will explain you the rest." and he left.
A breeze of ease came over me. Both of them are going to be fine.
I turned to the nurse and asked about the pay and medical details. Its evident that Namjoon won't be able to pay for both of them.

All four of us sat through the night, and Hosoek came running to us the early morning.

"Hyung, one of you could have called me earlier." he said.

"It's okay Hoseok-hyung. I am glad you are here now. Thanks for coming."said Namjoon.

"Namjoon-ah, you should go home. Get some sleep. You have been through lot yourself." I said looking at his dull face. He was clearly in pain but didn't wanted to let us know.

"No hyung. I don't want to go."

"Jimin-a can you please drop him home." I asked and Jimin agreed.

"Namjoon-ah, don't be stubborn now. Both of them are sleeping. Their medicines won't let them wake up for another 6 to 8 hours. You guys leave. Hosoek-ah, take Yoongi home too. I will stay here." I told them.

"No hyung..You and Yoongi leave. I will stay here. I took leave from work today. You guys freshen up, relax and then come back. If they wake up before I will let you guys know. Okay?"

Even though I wanted to be here waiting for Tae, I didn't want to look dull to him. He will feel sad that he ruined my night. It's better to get freshen up and look better.

"Thanks Hosoek. I will be back in an hour."

"Hyung! Jincha...take your time. There is no rush."

And so we left.

Tae, you will be fine. You should be fine. When I come back, I will come back to you as your lover. So wait until then sweetheart.