Just Let It Be

Sixteen

"I um..." Stef began, still seated next to the mentor in the office, utilizing the provided sofa. "I've done some things that I am not proud of. I was um...a teenager becoming a woman...with no mother to guide me." Her eyes fell beneath her, staring heavily into a deep puddle of shame. "And, a dad that certainly didn't know how."

Lena continued to cover the space next to the blonde haired woman, giving her complete and full attention. She knew that if she wanted Stefanie to be out and open with her, then she needed to hear each and every word spoken. No matter the depth of it.

"Some of these things, I have been able to look past." Stef went on, breathing rarely immensely. "But there's just one that I—no matter how hard I try—just cannot stop feeling guilty for." At an instant, tears began to form within the creases of her eyelids.

The mentor took the palm of her left hand and placed it upon the woman's nearest knee. "Tell me about it...I'm listening."

Stef released one prolonged breath, preparing for the arrangement of words that were to emigrate from her lips. "I um...I was fifteen. And...I had friends, not many, but some. They all did things that...teenagers do. Smoking, drinking, and uh...having sex." She closed her eyes, allowing the memories to fiddle within her mind. "God, I wanted to be just like them, to do everything they had done. But, I just couldn't look my father in his eyes and tell him I was sexually active. I just...couldn't." She then felt a warmth reside against her skin, releasing her tears.

Upon Lena's face, an expression of understanding settled. She completely grasped what was revealed to her, utterly able to connect with the blonde haired woman because she too had lost her virginity as a teen.

Stef continued on with, "So I lied and said that I was um...molested...by a family member." She then held onto her racing chest, breathing as heavy as she possibly could have. "I didn't say who nor gave a name because I...I just didn't know how to choose or pick, as awful as that sounds." Her eyes had drifted off to Lena's which held a very shocked utterance. "Overall, it was wrong of me and I wish I can just forget about it. But, I know that I have to come clean to my father about it. I just...I don't know when...or how. I am just—"

"You were young," The other woman said, cutting Stef off. She knew that if the blonde continued to speak, there'd soon be an abundance of melancholy and guilt hanging in the air of her office. "Like you said, you didn't have much guidance. It's okay to make mistakes. It really is. And all of this guilt and regret that you have living in you, you will heal from it." The mentor placed the palm of one of her hands upon Stef's nearing shoulder. "If there's anything that I know about troubles is they don't always last. Everything is going to be okay, you will be okay."

At an instant, Stef's tears became uncontrollable. Yes, part of the reason she cried was because she still couldn't believe she had orchestrated such a degrading, excruciating lie. But, the main reason was because she also felt joy for having finally spoken her truth.