The Vamps Preferences and Imagines

#25 - He See's Your Self Harm

Preference No.25 - He See's Your Self Harm

Trigger warning of course there is mentions of self harm. I have been through it and I know how it feels if any of you want someone to talk to I am here and I will help! Feel free to message me. ILY ALL!

Tristan-
You were having some very bad days. You already suffered from clinical depression and having millions of teenagers girls pointing out your flaws over the internet did not help.
You'd suffered from bullying at school as well and you found relief with a small metal blade. It wasn't bad at fist just maybe a few cuts a week but then Tristan came along. He seemed like the one source of light in your dark brain. He was and still is your life source but he doesn't know it.
The cuts almost tripled to you doing it everyday when no one was home. It was both good and bad that Tristan was away on tour in America you still had at least a month till he came home so the fresh cuts on your arms could heel and you could focus on your hips and thighs without him noticing. Then your worst nightmare occurred...
"BABE IM BACK!" You heard a door slam shut and Tristan shout. He shouldn't be here. You were in the bathroom packing away your blades, razors and pins when you heard a knock.
"(Y/N)? You in there?" He asked.
"Y-yeah I'll be out in a minute" You said in a shaky voice.
"Okay I'll be downstairs" he said and you heard retreating footsteps. You sighed, shoved all your stuff back in the back of the cupboard, slipped a jumper on and went downstairs.
"I though you weren't back for another month" You said hugging Tristan.
"I'm on a 2 week break and came back to be with you and guess what I brought you" he said excitedly.
"What?"
"SWEDISH FISH!" He said happily jumping up and down and you just laughed at how excitable he was.
"Come on let's go watch a film cuddle and eat Swedish fish" He pulled your arm to the front room whilst you tried not to since at the pain he was causing in your now re-opened cuts.
"Why aren't you happy (Y/N)?Whats wrong?" Tristan asked as you sat on the couch.
"Nothing's wrong I'm just shocked your actually home" You said sounding happy to him but really you weren't.
"Good come on let's cuddle and watch Purge I know it's your favourite" He said slyly.
"You know it's not my favourite you just want to see me scared" You laughed and just nodded and came and lay behind you so you were spooning on the couch.
Halfway through the film Tris started to mess with your fingers but you were to concentrated on the film and not screaming that you didn't notice he had now lifted your sleeve and was staring at the first few cuts that led all the way up your forewarn.
"(Y/N) what happened?" You heard Tris whisper and you turned and noticed him looking down so your shifted your gaze to see he was looking at...your cuts.
He pulled the sleeve up more not even taking in you trying to pry your arm out of his grasp.
"How long?" He asked.
"About 4 years" you whispered.
"Why?"
"I've been bullied my whole life, I get hate and I have depression that's why" You all but shouted at him.
"You have depression?" He asked dumfound.
"Yeah I was diagnose with it when I was 15 and I've been cutting ever since. Then you came along, you made me happy and I stopped for a while but then it got out we were dating then you left for your tour and the hate got too much and I couldn't take it so it started again" You said tears welling up in your eyes.
"Well I'm here for you now and I will help you quit" He said and started kissing all the scars on your arms. That in it's self was the most beautiful thing you had ever heard.
Brad- (dedicated to ilovebradsimpson)
"Where's the concert tonight?" You asked Brad your boyfriend now for a year.
"The O2 Apollo" He replied.
"I can't believe your finally doing your own headline tour, I'm so proud of you!" You said hugging him.
"Me either I can't wait but we should get going sound check is at 4" He said so you quickly got ready wearing a dress and a jean jacket with some converse.
~~~~~~At the concert~~~~~
You had left Brad backstage and went to sit in your seat in the font row with Tristan's girlfriend Anastasia.
You were loving the concert, they were rocking out and having a blast and the atmosphere in the place was great.
As it went on you got quite warm so your took your jacket of and didn't bother trying to hide the scars and cuts on your arm because it was too dark for anyone to notice.
As they got to the last song you noticed Brad looking a little antsy and kept looking towards you but you didn't know why so you smiled at home hoping to settle his nerves.
After the concert was over you put your jacket back on and went with Anastasia back to where the guys dressing room was and met them all.
"Right lads we're going to go" Brad said grabbing your hand.
"We are?" You asked confused.
"Yes (Y/N) we are come on?" And he pulled you out the dressing room and to his car. You got in and he started to drive not saying anything.
"Brad?" You hesitantly said. He looked your way but said nothing as e pulled up on the side of the road which, considering it was only 11pm, was quite empty.
"What happened?" He muttered turning to you.
"What's you mean?"
He meant over and undid your seatbelt pulling you onto his lap with your legs dangling over the centre console. He pulled your right arm to him and tugged the sleeve up revealing your cuts.
"This is what I mean, what happened?"
"I've been doing it for a long time Brad but I've been trying really hard recently to stop, that's why most of them are healed and are now just scars"
"You still could of told me I could and will help you get through this" He replied and hugged you into him.
"Can I just ask how did you know?" You asked looking at him confused.
"You took your jacket off in the concert and I saw them"
"But it was so dark how did you see them?"
"I always notice these things about you because I love you and I don't want anything hurting you" He said and kissed you and sat you back down in your seat and you drive home in peaceful silence.
James-
You had planned to go to your parents house for tea tonight and you had been dreading it because James had only met your parents once and it was for 2 hours.
It wasn't that you didn't want them to know James or anything you were just trying to prevent them from telling James about your past.
Your parents found out you self harmed when you where 17 after it had been happening for 2 years and helped you stop and see a doctor about it. It worked you did stop and James eloped a lot hen you met him e was kind and give you hope he didn't know you needed.
You were ready by 7:30 and set off to their house and got there by 8 seen as they lived so close to you. You got out the car with James and tried to calm down and pray that your parents didn't mention your teen years to James.
You walked up to the door and walked in with James right behind you. You followed the lovely smell of your mums cooking to the kitchen and found both your parents stood there.
"Mum! Dad!" You said and went to them hugging them both.
"How've you been him?" Your mum asked.
"I've been great" You said walking back to James.
"How about you James?" Your dad asked him.
"I've been fantastic thanks" He replied putting his arm round your waist.
"I'll be back in a minute I'm nipping to the loo" You said turning to walk upstairs grabbing your bag from the door but stopped short as you heard your name mentioned.
"So has she done it again or is she being strong?" Your dad said.
"What'd you mean?" James asked soundingly genuinely confused.
"Has she self harmed again?" Your mum asked gently.
"No I didn't know she did" James said shocked.
"Yeah for 2 years when she was 15 did she not mention it to you?" Your dad asked.
"No she has never mentioned it" James said glumly.
You'd heard enough and went upstairs and locked yourself in the bathroom as broke down on the floor. You didn't want him to find out this way you had put it off for a while but your parents were so blunt with it when they said it like it was nothing to be bothered about and James seemed so upset that you hadn't told him.
Apparently you had been upstairs for a long time because there was a knock on the door and James asking if you were okay.
"Yeah I'm fine I'll be out soon" You said whilst sniffling.
"No you won't come on open up" He says knocking again so you unlock the door but stay in your position on the floor.
"What's up (Y/N)?" He asks sitting next to you.
"I heard you and my parents in the kitchen and ghettos you I used to self harm, I didn't want to to know this way I was waiting to tell you because it's a touchy subject and I didn't want you to hate me because -" You ramble on but you get cut off when his lips connect with yours.
"I would never hate you and I know it's a touchy subject and yes I admit it wasn't the best way to find out but at least now I can help you" He says holding you whilst you cry.
"Thank you" you sniffle and lean your head in his chest.
Connor -
"Hey Connor where you off?" You asked your boyfriend who just got up from the bed and waking you.

"I have a signing at 12" He said and went to the bathroom.

"Oh well I'm gonna sleep till you get back" You said and rolled over hugging the pillow he was just sleeping on.

"I will be back at about 5, see you later (Y/N)" He said kissing your temple and leaving.

~~~~~~~~6 hours later ~~~~~~~
"Babe I'm back!" Connor yelled waking you up.

"Still in bed" you shouted back which was soon followed by the sound of footsteps but it seemed like he was running.

"Why the rush?" You asked when he ran in the room.

"No reason?" He said more like a question.

"Connor Samuel John Ball don't lie to me why you so worked up?" You asked sitting up properly and looking at him.

"Whilst I was out (Y/BF/N) came to the signing and told me something interesting" He said looking straight at you.

"What?"

"She kinda, sorta, well, maybe mentioned you used to self harm" He answered trailing off towards the end.

"SHE WHAT?!" You screamed.

"No don't panic she was worried about you but she did mention that you got over it and your all better she just wanted to warn me in case you never told me and it was mentioned by someone" He said quickly.

"I'm not mad at her or panicking I was just waiting to tell you because I'm not good at the whole expressing feelings thing" You said hugging him.

"Yeah she mentioned but I thought it was best to bring up now rather than wait and at least now you know that I will always be there for you if it ever happens again but remember it isn't worth it and I love you" He said hugging you back.

"Thanks Con that means a lot"

A/N
DON'T KILL ME PLEASE
I know it's been ages since I've updated but I've had writers block and a lot of pressure at school. Anyway I know Conor's isn't as good but I will make up for that in the next one I promise!

Also I made an Ask Fm before so feel free to go ask me questions wether there to do with any of my writings or not I don't mind.