Loki and I

Try the Tacos!(S1 E1)

I hang upside down from the chandelier above Princess Celestia's throne, just waiting for something interesting to happen. It's Taco Tuesday in Canterlot Castle, surely there has to be at least one guard with explosive diarrhoea by now because it's past lunch time.

Note to self; add more chilli beans to the taco mix next time.

Hey, now that I think about it, Celestia hasn't sat on her throne all day, except for like one hour at 5am. I'm not saying I'm stalking her, but... I'm stalking her. For fun. Because YOLO.

Suddenly, I hear the rattles of chains from a two legged creature wearing *sniff sniff* blue- no, *SNIIIFF* green. Green what?

I lick the air and slosh the spit around in my mouth for a second to identify it. Green jacket. Definetly green jacket. With... *sniff sniff sniff*.... Black hair with lots of product. Must be Discord wearing a green jacket and an Elvis wig. Oh, Discord!
From what I've heard of him, he's rather fun.

Well, I'd better go see what he's going in prison for this time. Maybe then I'd get to finally meet him!
Celestial never lets me see prisoners. Most of them are changelings, anyways.

I let go of the chandelier and being to fall. Then, with a lazy flap of my undersized, peach coloured wings, I soar above the unicorn guards standing at the entrance to the throne room.

I smash through the tall doors, leaving a big, me shaped hole in them and crash into a tall, fleshy thing that was definitely not a donkey/snake/bat/whatever the hell Discord is. "Get off of me, you little quim!" He shouts as he falls onto his back while the pegasus guards surrounding him stare at me in shock.

It's a little awkward because I'm laying on the chest of this weird two legged creature.

He's got no fur on him, except for black, shoulder length hair on his head that's been slicked back by hair gel, making it greasy. His face is pale but his Adam's apple is really attractive and so is his neck. In fact, if he weren't wearing so much clothing, he'd be totally hot. Actually, he'd probably be cooler.

"Ooh," I bite my lip, giving him the bedroom eyes.

And those cheekbones.... oh so narrow....

At this moment, I stare deep into his sparkling turquoise eyes which are glaring back into mine. "I said, get off!" He shouts again.

I lean in and whisper in his ear; "This is my swamp."

His eyes widen. "What?"

"Rosie Burrito Chuckito Assface! What in Equestria are you doing?" Calls the controlling voice of Princess Celestia. The tall alicorn spreads her magnificent creamy wings as her aqua mane flows freely.

I look behind me and see the god herself, looking sternly down at me. "DONT CALL ME BY MY LAST NAME, PLEASE! ASGDNGKFJDHEKSLQOEFH!" I screech, "YOU KNOW HOW SENSITIVE I AM!"

"Rosie, calm down," Celestia half yells, restraining me with her golden magic.

"Nnnhhhnnn!" I mutter, for I cannot talk due to my jaw being forcefully shut.

The princess lets me go. "Now get up," she orders in her sickly calm tone.

I tense up under her gaze, but do as she says and back up. I wouldn't want to be in her bad books any more than I already am.

The twoleg thing manages to stand himself up. I notice for the first time that he's wearing handcuffs.  "Is this how you Equestrians normally behave?" He smirks at Celestia, who glares at him.

"Or a better question," I reply, hovering above the guy and flapping my wings, "Who the hoof are you?"

"I am Loki," says the guy I was referring to, "Of Asgard. And I am burdened with glorious purpose."