Loki and I

Autocorrected (S1 E6)

"Hey, Loki!" I scream, crashing into the glass at full speed and scaring the pudding out of him. "Guess what?"

"What?" Loki growls.

I prance over to the control box. "I can do a autocorrect!" I announce, pushing a yellow button.

"What in the nine reals? REALMS?" Loki exclaims.

"Tell me, Loki," I grin evilly, "What country is this?"

"Equestrian," he replies. "No, Equestrian. Equestrian. EQUESTRIAN! AAAAH! I can't not pronounce the 'n'!"

"Who is the princess of this country?" I smirk.

"Princess Celeste," Loki answers. "No, Celestial. Celesita! CELESTE! I CAN'T PRONOUNCE HER NAME!" He cries.

"Uh huh... and what is your favourite drink?" I inquire.

"Vagina Late. NO! Not vagina, laguna! NO! I didn't mean vague, I meant- wait, that's not it! I meant-"

"Vanilla," I correct him. "Favourite food?"

"Choral puddling. NO!" He replies. "How dare you do this to my precious!" He growls, slamming a fist on the glass. I chuckle. "What is this magic that prevents me from saying the correct worth? WORD!"

"It's called autocorrect, and it only works in your cell," I laugh.

"You mewling quit! Not, I said quid! Qom! Quip! AAAAAH!" He screams, putting his hands on his head. All the while, I'm sitting there laughing my ass off.

"Rosie Burrito Chuckito Ass face!" Yells a voice. It's Celestia.

"AAAAAAAH!" I screech, pulling my hair and throwing my head back.

"What are you dosing? DOING!" Celestia yells her correction.

"Be a! Quiet!" I exclaim, tackling the alicorn to the ground. It seems the autocorrect must have leaked out already. Talk about thin pads.

"Don't yor tall too em liked than!" Celestia shouts, before slapping a hoof on her mouth. "Wheat ways than?" she blurts, then shoving her hoof in her mouth.

"Roxie, Turin thee but ton of!" Loki cries.

"What?" I call out, not quite understanding what he said.

"Autocorrect... turn... baton... button... off!" Loki says slowly between breaths. I jump off Celestia and smoosh my face up against the glass cell, pulling a derp face. "What Rae you doung?" Loki hisses, raising an eyebrow.

"I don't knows! I for got whitch but ton it was!" I cry, flying over to the control box and freaking out as my eyes skim over the colourful buttons.

"Hurray up and puck once!" Loki says, pressing his hands against the glass and facing me.

I cover my eyes with one hoof and waver the other one over the control box, pressing many different coloured ones at random. "Roxie! No, I mean Rosie! What Rae your doing?" Celestia exclaims, putting a hoof on my shoulder and whirling me around.

I slam my hoof on the yellow button and turn to you. "So, that's how difficult it is to understand you when you put faith in autocorrect," I say with sass, "So, hun. Learn to spell, so you don't sound stupid."

"What?" Loki says, eyebrows furrowed. "Who are you talking to?"

"Shut up and eat your pudding!" I snap at him, making a chocolate pudding tub materialise on the bench.

"How did you do that?" He asks warily and wide eyed.

"I control everything in this fanfiction!" I cackle evilly, rubbing my hooves together as if I am developing a cunning plan.

"Has anypony forgotten that I'm still in the room?" Celestia says loudly.

"What are you talking about? Fanfiction? This is real life!" Loki cries, throwing his hands up in the air.

"Do you want the damn pudding or nah?" I say blankly.

"Yes, miss'm," Loki mumbles, grabbing the pudding before I can take it away.

"So, remember kids! While it is okay, you don't have to completely and utterly rely on auto cucumber- F*CK!"