[You Have No Idea]

3

"We moved. "

"I know."

She glanced at me again while starting the car.

"I went to the nursery before I left and they told me you were walking home, so I checked your address."

The ride wasn't going to be long, but I still couldn't wait to get out.
Her presence still made my heart ache and my blood rush so loud, I couldn't hear properly.

"Why did you move?"

I stared out of the window, clenching my fists, that were hidden in my pockets.
Mrs Snow stopped talking at this point.

When we arrived I didn't wait for her to say anything and just left the car.
But she followed.

"You wanted to leave. "

"Yes, and I will, once you're inside."

I stood in front of our door, having trouble with the keys since my hands were still shaking violently.
Snow watched me, before she stepped in and took the keys to open the door.
Another panic wave crushed over my head, when it swung open.

I expected a cry of my name. But it stayed silent.
It seems like she wasn't home.

I let out a heavy sigh, took the keys and stepped inside. Only to regret it instantly.

She was home.

And as soon as I stepped inside, I entered her point of view. A bottle flew right over my head, crashed into the next wall and burst in a thousand pieces.
For a second, I froze.
That was the worst greeting in days.

Then I remembered who still stood just outside and turned to my future teacher.
She had big round eyes and an open mouth, ready to word her concern, but I didn't let her.

With a breathless
"Bye."
I closed the door in front of her face.
A few seconds later, she knocked furiously. I heard her call my name multiple times. Tears were rushing to my eyes.
Mrs Snow went to the next windows. Knocking and calling my name. She seemed to panic as well.

It was quiet inside. After some tears had escaped and I had whiped them away, she still hadn't given up.

So against all my instincts, I opened the front door again. Just enough to show my face. Mrs Snow came to a slithering halt in front of me.

She didn't say anything, she just forced open the door and pulled me into her arms.
Holding me tightly, she closed the door behind me and got us back to her car.
Hot tears were streaming down my face and hard sobs came from my chest.

"It's alright. I got you. I'm here now. I'll bring you home."

She laid me on the backseats, glancing over her shoulder once in a while.
She kissed my hands and then got back in her seat.
We drove off and arrived before I could stop crying.
This whole day was just too much.

She helped me inside what I recognized as her house. I was put on her couch, while she settle in quickly. Then she returned to my side.

She got me out of my jacket, brought water and sat down next to me. Her gentle hands brushed hair out of my face and stroked over my cheeks to help me calm. Her body and a blanket warmed me up.

" I'm so sorry. "

She only provoked more tears.

" Shh shh it's okay, I'm here. I'll protect you. It's okay. "

Her arms got drapped around my chest and I gave into her. At this moment, I didn't have any more resistance left. I wanted to believe that she saved me. I needed to believe it. The panic slowly dissolved and the tears stopped.

She kissed my head again and again.

"It's alright now... do you want a hot chocolate? "

I couldn't answer. I didn't want her to leave, but anything hot would be great.

"Maybe a tea would be better.."

She spoke softly and almost to herself, knowing I wouldn't answer.
And then she left.

I started shivering again, missing her presence, even though I could hear her shuffling around in the kitchen. As if she remembered in that moment, she started humming.
Breathing got easier until she was finally back. With a cup of tea and even some bananas.
I eyed them with a hint of discust.

" You need to eat."

She whiped the tear stains off my face, kissed me on the cheek and watched me take small sipps.

" Is it okay for you, if you stay here for a few days?"

I nodded hesitantly.

" Okay, I'm glad. "

Her breathless voice was dripping with relief and she kissed me again, while pushing my head against her.