[You Have No Idea]

27

Suupriiise another one. To make up for the long waiting time .. and that rather boring last one.. not like this one's any better tho.
At this point.. if anyone likes writing interesting summaries.. feel free to try one for this book.. I don't care enough to try n write one myself tbh..

"I .. I thought we were .. we were a .. a thing now and .. you know.. when two.. when people.. become a thing, they do.. they do stuff like that and I ...
I don't want you to .. you shouldn't think, I don't want to.. be with you, so I .. I feel like you want to know..
know if I'm ready to ..
want to know if can give you that .. what normal people do.. like sex and all that.. but I don't know if I can ..
so why would you.. would you want to stay with me.."

God, how pathetic.
Can't even form a proper sentence..

"Soo.. you want us to be together? But you're worried you can't give me enough?"

"Yeah..."

She smiled, kissing me once again. On my forehead this time, longer, more serious.

"I decide what's enough for me and you being so incredibly honest with me right now is.. much more than enough for me. If you tell me when it's too much, I'll tell you when it's not enough..
I'll promise you that.. what you just said was pretty much like declaring love so I don't know what anybody would actually want more in my position.. "

"Hmm.."

She smiled.

"Don't give me that 'Hmm'."

Hanna bent down to lightly nibble on my neck. I gasped and she let out a satisfied hum.

"I think your girlfriend is pretty tired right now, so let's go back to sleep, hm?"

"Okay.."

"I love you too, Katie."

Hanna layed down next to me again and I pulled me on top of her, so I could hear her steady heartbeat.

"Good night, love."

"Good night, cheese face.."

...

Thursday morning came quick.
I didn't dream. Of anything or anyone.

Neither of us went to school. The day passed us painfully slow but still far too fast.
No message from mother or the Roses. Or even Mr Adams.

I was very quiet. I just couldn't find any words in me. There was nothing.

Hanna tried cheering me up the entire morning, but gave up soon. She just spend every minute of the day by my side.
Sometimes just kissing me or caressing my arms absently.

We watched TV for some time.
I spent minutes staring at my food, only to then eat a small bit.

A few times I thought I heard a knock, but Hannas indifference proved me wrong every time. I didn't ask her about it, I just looked at her quickly and knew.

That's how Thursday passed.

I had trouble falling asleep but Hanna didn't give up with her efforts, until I did. I doubt she got enough sleep, since she was up already, when I woke the following day.

Her soft humming led me to the kitchen, but I couldn't shake of the warm drunkenness.

"How did you sleep?"

She kissed my forehead and carefully pushed me down on a chair.

"Hmm.."

"I take that as 'Not bad', unless you have something to correct."

I didn't.

She put down some fried eggs on our plates.

"Are you up for going out a bit today? We could go see a movie?"

I kept quiet.

"Or just go for a walk. You know the forrest isn't far from here."

I just stabbed my egg a few times.

"Katie.. I really want to go... and you're coming unless you really don't want to."

"Okay.."

"There you go."

She kissed me again and hugged me from behind. I relaxed in her warmth and felt relieved I didn't resist. Maybe a walk wouldn't be that bad.

But Hanna did not let go.
She started whispering into my ear.

"You're gonna be okay.. I'm here."

"Thank you.."

An hour later we were both dressed and wrapped into Hannas winter clothes. She put my scarf on by herself, while observing my face. When she was done, her hands wandered up to cup my cheeks softly.

"Tell me when you're cold. I'll see it anyway. No lying. .. We can go back anytime, okay?"

"Yeah.."

"Good, then let's head out!"

She took my hand and pulled me outside. There wasn't much snow today, but the sky was hung with grey clouds.

Hanna kept on holding my hand, even though people started crossing our path.
I felt myself blushing and tried to hide in that wonderful scarf.

It smelled like her. A small smile crept up my face.

When we reached the forrest and the asphalt stopped, Hanna came even closer, wrapping her hand around my hip.

Soon I found my head slowly falling, to finally lean on her shoulder.

The cold air brought some life into my bones. My hands hurt from the could when I took them out of my pockets and our noses were turning red.

"You know, I always wanted to show you this part of the forrest.. You never wanted to come here, remember?"

"Hmm.. but not why.."

She chuckled.

"You called it boring. Because there were no animals... And no funny trees."

"I think the trees are funny enough."

"Why is that? When does a tree certify as 'funny enough'?"

"No idea, they just do."

"I'm glad, you like it here now. And I'm glad you came with me."

"Wait, are you saying you would have gone on your own?"

She stopped and looked at me.

"Probably not. But that's besides- oh?"

She bent down to pick something up.
I turned away and kept walking slowly. The snow made it difficult to walk fast, so to get back home soon, we would have to keep walking.

But suddenly something hit my back and shattered with a crunch