[You Have No Idea]

22

I started filling them all with water. Slowly but all to the very top.

The table was getting overloaded with them and I felt better, when the cupboard was empty.

... I could prepare breakfast.

The fridge was pretty much filled up.
So I made breakfast..
Sandwiches which chese, ham, salad, jam and peanut butter.
Eggs and bacon.
Fresh orange juice.
Pancakes.
Coffee and Cocoa.
Fruit salad.

And again I ran out of space. I sat down to eat some of it.. but I couldn't. The thought of it made me feel sick.
I decided to bring it to Hanna.

But the bed was empty. I stood in the door frame for a while, arms full of food.
Placing it on the nightstand, I went back to the kitchen, picked up more of it and went to bring it to the bedroom.

Someone stood in my way then, I didn't bother looking up and just waited for her to step aside. But she didn't.

"Good morning."

I heard her sleepy smile when she was talking, unable to answer. Nothing about this morning was good.

"You made breakfast?"

She took it out of my arms and walked in front of me. A bright laugh escaped her when she saw the rest on the night stand.

"Wow, you really put effort into this. Thank you!."

She gave me a kiss on the cheek and pulled me into bed with her.
But I had been quiet and she got concerned.

Hanna laid on her side, resting her head on her arm. She watched me for a while, not saying anything or touching the food.

"How are you feeling? After yesterday?.."

I just shrugged and she smiled sadly.

"Well then let's just eat a bit. That always helps."

She handed me a plate with pancakes and got herself a sandwich. It seemed to be good, but I just couldn't. There was absolutely no way.

After she finished her sandwich I could feel her eyes on me again.

She was right, it's my fault. I didn't protect him, I was selfish. Again I bit down hard on my teeth to keep the tears at bay.

"Katie?"

I got out of bed.

"Katie??"

She followed me, when I started walking around her apartment aimlessly.

Shortly afterwards Hanna pulled me against herself and whispered in my ear.

"What's up? Talk to me please.. Can I do anything?"

I started shaking.

"Hey...? Katie.."

...

"What time did you get up?"
..

I pulled away and got my phone. She followed me closely. I didn't dare to look her in the eyes when I showed her my mothers texts.

She immediately pulled me back into a hug and caressed my head with one hand. The other one carefully took the phone out of my tight grip and I heard her tipping something.

For a second I panicked, thinking she was gonna reply to my mother, but then she held the phone next to her ear and for once I really didn't want to care anymore.

I heard a faint 'Hello?', and then just one sentence from her. A short, very angry whisper.

"I need your help, now."

Then she ended the call and started rocking me side to side slightly.

"It is not your fault. That is the only important thing right now, it is not your fault. .. I'm not believing her until we got prove, alright? You shouldn't either. She just wants to hurt you.. But this time she went too far."

"I'm sorry.. "

Was the only thing I could get out with my cracking voice.

"There's no need to be sorry for anything Katie. Please believe me."

We barely moved until the doorbell rang and I jumped, with my heart beating louder than that damn bell.

"Shh, it's okay. It's just Rose."

She let go of me, but I held onto her. Hanna wrapped her arm back around me and we both walked to the door slowly.

I heard Rose's careful "Hey."

They sandwiched me between them for a moment, before another "Hi.", came from behind her.

"I brought Rosie. I hope that's okay?"

I felt Hanna nodding and inviting them in.

We all sat down in the livingroom and she started talking.

"Katie's mother claims that her brother Connor is dead. He ran away sometime ago but there's no evidence yet. I think she only claims this to hurt Katie."

She showed them the texts, while soothing my shaking.

"That is unbelievable.... I've never met such a cruel person in my life. .. What do you want us to do? Go to the police?"

".. Yes-"

She felt my protest and held me tighter.

"But only to try and get some proof.. maybe say you're his aunts and can't believe what you heard.. something like that.."

"Consider it done... don't worry Katie.. this doesn't seem like it's true. She would have gone into more detail, if it was.."

..

"Thank you so much.. We're going to stay here. His name is Connor Johansson. He is 15."

"Okay.."

They got up, one hand gave me a short back rub and then they were gone.

"Katie?"

"Hm.."

"Let me kiss you.."

I let her push my head far away enough so she could study my face. Her lips found mine and I sighed at the feeling of coming home.