After Her (completed)

Chapter 37- Pouring

Rose

"Kung may problema ka, kausapin mo lang ako, okay?" Tanong ko sa batang ginagamot namin dahil sa trauma sa ama. Marahang tumango ang bata at yumakap sa akin.
"Salamat, Ate Rose." Sabi nito.
"Wala iyon. Eto ang number ni Ate Rose. Itago mo. Kapag may problema ka, text mo lang ako." Binigyan ko ang bata ng isang calling card. Nakakapanlumo ang sinapit nito sa ama. Muntik ng mamatay ang bata sa pangmamaltrato ng ama sa kanya. Kaya tuloy ang hirap para sa kanya ang magtiwala.

"Rose... Rose..." Si Lego ba ang sumisigaw sa hallway? Biglang bumukas ang pintuan ng clinic na inooccupy ko. Parang nawawala sa sarili si Lego.
"Lego?"
Doon siya bumaling ng tingin sa akin and the looked that he gave me was a mixture of relief and...love. Mabilis niya akong nilapitan at niyakap ng mahigpit. Sa harapan ng bata.

"God, I thought something happened to you." Sabi niya.
"Ah... Lego." May bata...
Mas lalo niyang hinigpitan ang pagyakap.
"I thought something happened to you." Ulit niya but his voice were cracked.

"Kuya, bakit umiiyak ka?" Tanong ng bata.
Diyos ko, umiiyak si Lego?
"Lego, okay ka lang?"
"Just let me hold you, Rose." He murmured.
"Lego, may bata." Bulong ko sa kanya.
Huminga ng malalim si Lego bago ako pinakawalan. Namumula ang mata niya at may kaunti pang luha.

"Kuya, okay ka lang po?" Usisa ng bata kay Lego.
"Okay na." Sagot ni Lego.

"Yung bilin ko ha?"
Tumango ang bata bago lumabas ng pintuan.

"Ano ang nangyari sayo?" Tanong ko kay Lego na kinakalma ang sarili.
"Akala ko may nangyaring masaya sayo. Sabi kasi sa office nasa hospital ka." Paliwanag niya.
"OJT ako sa hospital."
"That scares me. I thought something bad happened to you." Sabi niya. Naupo siya sa isang upuan at pinikit ang mga mata na parang nahihirapan.
"Lego..."
"I can take that you are angry with me but I can't... lose you. I can't, Rose."

He opened his eyes and stare at me.
"Mahal kita..." Sabi niya. "Hindi ko alam kung kailan nagsimula. Maybe when we talked before. When you started to heal me,"
"I didn't heal you." Katwiran ko.
"You did. You made me see things beyond my sight. You made me understand situations beyond my understanding. You made me a forgiving person. You did that without even forcing me and without my knowledge. You healed me by being there. And when I throw words at you, I am half broken as you. I was angry and you were my outlet but the distance made me realize that if I will love again, it will be you. Because it was you who build me back after her."

These words... if only he said it before...

"I know you are scared. I am scared too. I know I made mistakes but I won't run this time. I won't hurt you. I would rather die than to hurt you."
"Anak ako sa labas, Lego," I said although my heart can't take the sadness of my voice.
"Anak din sa labas si mommy but it didn't stop my dad to love her. Why it would matter to me when it didn't matter to my parents?" Sagot niya.

Tumayo si Lego habang itinuhog na ako ng samu't-saring emotion sa kinatatayuan ko.
"I want to see your scars. The scars that I brought you. I want to see how many times you needed me and I wasn't there. I want to see the difference because those scars will be your last." He dried a tear that escaped from my eyes.

"What exactly did you see in me?" I asked and a little scared to hear his answer.
Lego smiled. His boyish, drop-dead smile that I started to get noticed since he came back.
"My future." He replied.
"And what if I can't give you a future?" Insecurities about not having a child eat me.
"I will create one for us. I know what you are thinking, Ate Sky discussed it with me and she is right. I really don't care how we can be parents in the future. But I will not be a father if you are not the mother of that child."
Sinasalo ni Lego ang bawat luha na pumapatak sa akin.

"Rose, you do to me what Autumn does to the leaves." He said and slowly kiss my forehead.
"You make me fall." He whispered and smile.

"Hihintayin kita sa labas. Anong oras kang matatapos dito?" He stepped back a little.
"Patapos na ako, actually. Ilalagay ko lang sa note ang progress ng...bata kanina." I replied.

How can I answer to his declaration? He just basically pour his hearts out. And I... I was speechless.

"May pupuntahan ka ba?" Bigla kong naitanong kay Lego.
"Wala naman." He replied.
"Pwede mo ba akong samahan?" Tumango si Lego without asking me where do I want to go.

Dalawang bouquet ng flowers ang binili ko. Una kaming huminto sa libingan ni Kyla. Tahimik si Lego sa tabi ko. Walang bitterness sa mukha. Kalmado lang siya.

Nilapag ko ang bulaklak sa tapat ng lapida ni Kyla.
"Hi," I murmured.
"I got your heart. Thank you for this heart."
Huminga ako ng malalim but my tears have it's own mind. It falls freely.
"I know we didn't meet, and I know a little of your story. Lego is here with me. The guy who loves you once. I don't know what made you do what you did but I want to tell you that you are wrong. It's not Lego's fault. And if I will get a chance to have his love for the rest of my life, rest assured I will not do what you did to him. Have a smile up there Kyla. Have a front set and look at us. I don't hate you for you save my life. And I want to thank you in a way, you brought him to me."
Nagpahid ako ng luha at saka tumayo.

"Is that an I Love You Too?" Tanong ni Lego sa akin.
I just smile t him. "Saan nakalibing si Noah?" Tanong ko sa kanya.
"Ahhh, akala ko naman tayo na dahil sa speech mo." Biro ni Lego. Inabot niya ang kamay ko. Magkahawak kamay kaming umalis sa puntod ni Kyla.

Sunod kong nilagyan ng bouquet ang puntod ni Kuya Noah. Nakatayo kaming dalawa ni Lego.
"Wala kang sasabihin?"
Umiling ako. "Magkadugo man kami pero hindi kami magkapamilya." I replied honestly.

Paalam... Noah.

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Sorey, isa lang UD.
Hirap magsulat ngayon lalo na kapag busog lagi 😂