Trapped (egobang trans)

Chapter 42 - Afraid

< Danny's POV >

"I'm not worth worrying about, Danny. Just go to class, I'm fine, I promise."

Arin smiled at him warmly. Any other circumstance and Danny would trust him without a doubt, but his eyes told a different story. The thought that Arin was lying to him made Danny suddenly sad. He just wanted his friend to be happy...

There was a moment of silence and then Arin turned away again. Danny realised he still planned on going into the bathroom, and felt a sudden stab of fear. Almost desperately he lunged forward, grabbing Arin's arm again to try and pull him back. He needed to know what was going on!

A scream snapped Danny out of his desperation. He darted back from Arin, holding up his hands as he watched Arin double over slightly. His scream faded to a whimper as he rubbed his arm where Danny had grabbed, wincing painfully with each motion. Danny opened his mouth to apologize when something fell from Arin's sleeve, pushed out by his massaging. Arin hurried away into the bathroom, but Danny barely noticed as he stared down at the object on the floor.

Crouching down he picked it up, hardly daring to believe what he was seeing. It was a bundle of toilet paper, one side soaked in blood, mostly dried but some still fresh and wet. Danny stood up slowly, not breaking his stare at it as it sat in his hand. Tears welled in his eyes as he connected the dots, looking up at the closed bathroom door in front of him. Arin was in there, alone.

Danny practically slammed the door open, running in and almost slipping on the bathroom floor that was streaked with water, probably from the sinks. In the line of cubicles only one was occupied, and from within Danny heard someone hissing through their teeth in pain. His heart lurched as he rushed over, slamming both hands on the door and causing the person inside to cry out in surprise.

"A-Arin, I know what you're doing, man. P-Please, don't do this!" Danny pleaded.

His voice choked and he finally started to cry, tasting the salty tears as they ran over his lips to drop from his chin.

"Danny? N-No, I'm not-"

"DON'T GIVE ME THAT SHIT, ARIN! I KNOW YOU'RE CUTTING, I'VE GOT THE PAPER HERE TO PROVE IT!"

His knees wobbled, emotion getting the better of him. He braced himself against the wall slightly, grasping at the lock of the cubicle with his free hand. He knew it couldn't be opened from this side - he just wanted to get to Arin, to stop him from doing it.

Click.

The door opened slowly, and Danny took a shaky step back. Arin held more paper in his hands, clean sheets. His sleeves were pulled up, confirming Danny's conclusion. There weren't as many as his panicked mind had envisioned, and most of them had begun to scab over already. One or two deeper cuts still bled slightly, and Danny watched as Arin gently pressed the paper into them. He hissed, which gave Danny the realisation that what he'd heard wasn't Arin cutting, just him bandaging the cuts that were already there. He blushed slightly as he started to calm down, though the thought that Arin had done it in the first place was still horrifying to him.

Arin didn't meet his eye, focusing on what he was doing. Danny just stared, stunned and upset.

"W-Why...?"

Arin flushed the toilet and watched the previous batch of bloody paper go down for a moment before he reluctantly turned to Danny again.

"I don't know."

He finally pulled down his sleeves over the fresh bandaging, and Danny felt his focus finally snap away from them. His cheeks were wet with tears and he realised he was still holding the paper in his hand, the last wet patch sticking it to his palm. He removed it, throwing it past Arin into the toilet before opening his mouth to speak.

"Why didn't you tell me, Arin? I... I could've helped you. I want to help you," he said weakly.

"I didn't want you to worry about me."

"Arin..."

"Everything is going great for you Danny, I don't want to drag you down."

"Why would you drag me down? You're my friend, Arin."

Danny didn't understand what he was talking about.

"Because, every time things go well for you, it just reminds me that I'll never have it too! I'm jealous, Danny, and the only person who can do anything about it is me, but I can't because even after all this time I'm still too fucking afraid!"

As if on cue the bell for next lesson rang. Arin was breathing hard from shouting, and Danny thought he looked almost angry. He was reminded of his own frustration in his situation, and how he was too afraid to come out. He thought for a moment of asking Arin what he was afraid of, but he didn't get a chance as Arin stormed past him.

"I'm going to class. I just want this day to end already."

A/N: shorter chapter sorry, but I'm really excited with how this is going