Trapped (egobang trans)

Chapter 13 - A Mistake

Arin arrived at the park early, too restless and nervous to sit at home any longer. If she did, Arin had a feeling that she'd talk herself out of going. Not to mention she'd been up since 6am doing nothing but thinking. She needed to move and get out into the open.

Usually Arin's parents drove her everywhere, but today she felt like traveling alone. She arrived at the park on her old bike that she hadn't ridden in maybe a year and chained it to the bike racks.

The park was completely empty, the central playground area strangely absent of kids, on a Saturday of all days. Arin felt out of place. Not that she didn't usually, but everything was so quiet that she felt like she was intruding on something. It was an eerie silence and Arin suddenly wished she wasn't so early so that Suzy would arrive sooner. But looking at her phone she still had 20 minutes before their designated meeting time. 20 minutes alone.

The sun was out and the grass was green, so green that it didn't look real. There was no wind, but that only added to the silence. Arin had always loved the outdoors, even as a kid. It was partially why she always sat outside at school - that and she didn't like crowds.

There was a bench near the playground, Arin assumed where parents would sit as their children played. Walking over she was glad to find it was clean, but she didn't sit down to wait just yet. She continued to the playground, curious what the quiet place had to offer.

The playground was in surprisingly good condition. No rubbed paint, no smears of dirt or a covering of leaves. Arin ran her hand along the smooth plastic of the slide idly, slowly trailing upwards before it was too high for her to reach from the ground. Her unease began to fade as she heard a bird tweet softly from somewhere in the trees. Then a rushing of wings as it took flight, and silence again as it was gone.

After some exploring Arin decided to return to the bench. Settling herself down she checked her phone and saw she'd somehow killed 5 minutes already. A smile made its way onto her face and she pulled out her sketchbook from the backpack she'd brought with her. Opening to a new page Arin started to draw. A few minutes later and she had the beginnings of a slide, copied carefully from the sight in front of her. Ever since seeing Suzy's drawings Arin had been trying out still-life, trying to tackle the real world instead of just the miscellaneous animé characters that she conjured up in her head.

Maybe 10 minutes later Arin turned the page again, this time going backwards through some of her previous sketches. She'd tried eyes, using Suzy's drawings as reference. They didn't go as planned. Further back came a lousy still-life of her bedroom, everything out of proportion and still too cartoony.

The next page made Arin pause. The sassy girl, the one that she'd been drawing when she first hung out with Suzy earlier that week. Unfinished, left as it was on that day and abandoned in place of other drawings. Arin stared down at her for a moment, perplexed for whatever reason. She felt a strange sensation in her stomach and picked up her pencil again, a sudden urge to finish her.

She already had clothes, jeans and a t-shirt with a made up band name on it. She even had a jacket, leather. She looked cool, a flawlessly stylish person who didn't have to try to look good. Perfect. She knew this about herself too; she was smirking knowingly. The only thing she lacked was hair. Arin let her pencil touch the paper, not knowing what it would create but wanting to see the results anyway.

She looked untamed, she didn't play by the rules. If that was true of her personality, why should her hair not be the same? Wild, unruly hair seemed fitting. Straight? No, that would just look messy if she tried to make it wild. Wavy or curly would be better, but which one? Curly, Arin decided. Soon the shape was done, but it still lacked something. It looked off. Something told Arin that she should have darker hair, so she shaded inside the lines. Much better.