Trapped (egobang trans)

Chapter 12 - Son

< Arin's POV >

By the end of the week Arin and Suzy had gotten to know each other pretty well. Arin learned more about Suzy than she did about Arin, but Suzy didn't ask many questions and caught on quickly when there was a subject she didn't want to talk about.

Suzy: hey are you busy this weekend?

Arin: no

She was never busy. That thought brought Arin a wave of sadness as she sat in her room after school on Friday texting Suzy.

Suzy: want to hang out with meeee? :P

Arin smiled; she could imagine Suzy tilting her head and batting her eyelashes as she asked the question, playing the cute tactic. She was good at it, too good.

Arin: sure, when and where do you want to meet?

Suzy: there's a park near my house, we could go there?

Arin: okay! when?

Suzy: midday tmrw?

Arin: thats fine with me, see you there i guess

Suzy: see ya Arin :)

Once again Arin couldn't quite fathom that someone was willingly hanging out with her, even after a week. Jon had included her once, but that was a one time thing and he hadn't even spoken to Arin since. The fact that Suzy was still there, and wanted to see her outside of school, was astounding. It made Arin smile uncontrollably. As she went down for dinner that night it was still there, and her parents gave her an odd look when she walked into the room. Arin was never this happy. They were pleasantly surprised, it seemed, but Arin could understand their concern after years of her being generally miserable. Well, miserable was the wrong word. She had always been nervous about most things, which often prevented happier emotions from breaking through. Arin was complicated.

"What's got you so smiley?" asked her mum as she sat down at the table.

"Suzy and I are going to the park tomorrow."

"Suzy? Is she just a friend?" Arin's dad chimed in, giving Arin a wink across the table.

Arin blushed, knowing what he was implying.

"S-She's not my girlfriend..." she muttered uncomfortably; this always came up when she mentioned other girls.

"Not yet, son."

Son.

"Oh, stop teasing him!" jabbed her mum, then smiling back at Arin, "I'm sure Suzy's a lovely girl. You should invite her round here sometime."

"Yeah, sometime."

Arin's cheery mood had vanished completely at this point. She tried not to show it, if only to keep her parents' questions away, and ate quickly. When she was finished she excused herself from the table and headed upstairs, saying that she wanted to get an early night before she went to meet Suzy tomorrow. But in truth Arin could already tell that sleep wouldn't come easily. She should be used to it by now - they'd been misgendering her for her whole life at this point. She hadn't ever tried to correct them, not after the incident with those boys. She hadn't corrected anyone, lest they react the same way.

Laying down atop her bed Arin squeezed her eyes shut, trying not to get sucked back to that day. It was the day she'd finally been true to herself, and yet she regretted every moment of it. If only she'd just played along and continued being a boy, then she wouldn't be such a mess right now.

~~~~~~~~~~~

The boy's welcoming smile dropped. He looked confused first, then disgusted.

"You can't be a girl. You've got short hair," he scoffed, pointing almost accusingly at the brown fringe that barely reached Arin's eyes.

"I'm gonna grow it when I'm older," Arin returned weakly.

"You can't just change from a boy to a girl! That's not how it works," jutted in one of the other boys, frowning.

"I-I'm not changing!" Arin protested, "I've always been a girl!"

The first boy came forward and snatched the ball from Arin's hands.

"Well we don't play with girls."

Arin lunged forward in desperation, grabbing at the ball. She got a hold of it, but the boy wasn't letting go and for a moment they were stuck in a kind of tug-of-war.

"Let go! It's our ball!"

"No, I want to play! I'm sorry! -OW!"

Arin let go of the ball suddenly, falling backwards as the boy pushed her. She landed hard, the air being forced from her 4 year old body. Tears built in her eyes as she looked up pleadingly at the boy again. His young eyes were cold with distaste, and he stuck out his tongue at Arin.

"You're not a real girl," he said, "You're just a weirdo."

The tears fell then, which didn't help Arin's case. She tried to get up, reaching out in one last attempt to get to the ball. This time instead of a push she received a kick, forceful and right in her stomach. Gasping she fell back down, squeezing her eyes shut as the others started kicking her too. Some of them laughed, boyish nature enjoying what they thought was rough play.

Arin barely comprehended her mum coming to her rescue until the kicking stopped. Opening one eye uncertainly she saw the boys all standing in a group, shameful looks on all their faces at they looked up at someone stood over her. Gentle hands wrapped around her and she buried her face into her mother's chest, sobbing as she felt the throbbing pain of multiple soon-to-be-bruises all over her body.

She had no idea what happened to the boys or where they went, only that she was being carried hurriedly away. Then she was being placed in her car seat that she came to the park in, and her tears being lovingly wiped away.

"Arin, sweetheart, what happened?" her mum asked worriedly.

Arin bit her lip, thinking back over the ordeal. She looked up at her mum's face, and for a moment considered telling her too. But what if she didn't like it as well? What if she hit her as well?

"T-They didn't want to p-play with m-me..." was all she said.