In the Past (Levi Ackerman x OC)

The Ending

*Authors Note:

Hello, readers.

I know I haven't updated this fanfiction in years, and I'm not sure I would even be able to finish it now if I tried to start over again. I started this book in middle school, and reading it now feels kind of odd, but over the years I've paid attention to the comments, and I know people enjoy this book even though to me, it feels so incredibly underdeveloped and simply put - naive. I lost passion for writing in high school, when it seemed I could never find the time to write, and even though I had ideas for what I wanted this book to be, after awhile I couldn't even really determine how to accomplish it, and now that it's been years, I can't even really remember where I wanted it to go. Which makes it nearly impossible to finish, and trust me I've tried several times to write what was meant to be the next chapter, but nothing ever felt right, and I realized it was because I had grown up and matured, and I didn't like the route I had taken for this story to begin with, and if I were to rewrite it now, I would have changed quite a bit, so I've been stuck at an impasse for quite some time, but after trying to write the 27th chapter for the millionth time, I've determined that I should just tell you all how this book was meant to end.

Alexa eventually would have found out that Levi was the one to turn in her parents to the police, and it would have happened after they had explored their relationship together, after her and Levi had gotten closer, and it would have occurred in a conversation about their past. It would have caused turmoil in their relationship, and Alexa would have found it almost impossible to forgive him at first, and she would have made that known.

Jordan was always meant to be a bad guy in the story, he was responsible for the deaths of Mina, and the others, as he's like Eren, Annie, etc., in the fact that he can turn into a titan, and his main motivation for the entirety of this book was to destroy the walls. Which is how the story was meant to tie into Eren's timeline later on with Annie and the others.

This book was never meant to have a happy ending, Alexa was supposed to die at the hands of Jordan, betrayed by someone she had considered a friend, and her and Levi were meant to have a tragic end.

Her and Levi were meant to break up before Alexa's death, due to the fact her parents had died because of him, and Alexa would have forgiven him only in her moment of death, granting him forgiveness for something he had done that brought her anguish for years. She would have only forgiven him because she loved him, and realizing that she was dying she needed him to know that, because she didn't want to haunt him the way the deaths of Isabel and Farlan had.

I imagined the book to end something like this:

Levi's arms curled around my body as he shifted me into his lap, there were tears falling freely from his eyes as he stared down at me.

The movement should have hurt, should have caused that piercing ache to return to my body, but it didn't. That thought should have terrified me, knowing that it was because I had lost too much blood at the hands of Jordan, that I was dying, and the blood coming from my body pooling around us was slowing because I was running out. My heart was slowing, and I knew I was running out of time.

Everything seemed so insignificant now, staring up into his steely eyes, all I could think about was how much love I had for this man. The man who had cared for me, had aided in ridding me of the terrible nightmares that plagued my mind. The man who I knew loved me, and who understood me completely, all of the twisted parts of me, and who had been patient with me.

"I'm so sorry." He sobbed quietly, brushing his blood stained hands gently against my face, trying to move strands of hair that blocked his view. "I'm so sorry, Alexa."

Grief slicked his voice, and I knew that he was apologizing for everything that had led up to this moment.

"I should have got here sooner," He took a shaky breath, and his voice cracked, "I'm so sorry."

It hurt to hear him apologize, I knew this wasn't his fault, I couldn't blame him for the choices Jordan had made, couldn't blame him any longer for the decisions he'd made to spare his life, to save Isabel and Farlan, even at the expense of my parents.

"It's okay," My voice sounded raspy, and my throat felt slick as I tried to push out the words, I felt faint, but I wasn't in pain, not anymore. Despite the wounds to my body that soaked my skin and clothes with blood- "I forgive you, Levi."

A sputtering cough filled the air, and I felt the flecks of blood fly from my mouth, leaving the tangy iron taste of it on my tongue.

Levi seemed to cry even harder as the blood from my mouth covered his chest, "I love you." I told him, trying to hold on a little bit longer, I needed him to hear what I had to say, "I'm sorry that I took so long to forgive you..."

I fought another cough, but felt the blood rise to my throat regardless.

Levi shook from his tears, and I felt him press a kiss to my head, and it felt like he held me tighter, but I wasn't entirely sure, my body was starting to feel numb, replacing the cold that had started to present itself in my legs and arms.

"This isn't your fault, I don't blame you." I tried to move, but my arms failed me, I squeezed my eyes shut, "Please don't blame yourself."

A sob escaped Levi's throat, and he shifted my body, pulling me away from his chest, he grasped my face gently, placing a soft kiss against my lips. "I love you..." He said quietly, and I knew his heart was breaking, and mine was too. I was filled with regret, wishing I could have had just a little more time with him.

I wanted one more real kiss, one more hug, one more moment with him that was full of joy and laughter, I wanted so desperately to keep his heart from breaking any further. I wished I could go back and change what had happened between us. I wished I could have told myself to enjoy the moments we did have together instead of allowing myself to take it for granted.

"I'll always love you." He whispered, pressing another kiss to my lips, and I felt a hot tear against my cheek as he pulled away.

I wanted to say more, I wanted to tell him I loved him one more time. But as I took another breath, this one even more shallow and uneven than all the others, nothing came out.

I couldn't feel anything anymore, couldn't force another breath, and I realized then that I was completely out of time.

The world around me fell away, and I could no longer hear the soft cries of Levi next to my ear, and it felt like everything around me shifted, I couldn't feel his arms around my body, or smell his earthy scent.

It just faded away, leaving nothing but a sense of peace in its wake.

Thank you all for reading this story for the last however many years. I'll forever be grateful for the funny comments and the memories this book has given me, and I'm sorry that I couldn't find it in myself to continue it, and I hope I haven't disappointed you all too greatly.

With much love,

R