Cursed - Adopted By Yogscast

The Blue Jay

College was stressful as hell. In fact, it was worse than hell. But a lot of crazy things were happening there, I kinda did walk in on at least eight guys who were either high or drunk in a student lounge room, and one of them yelled out at me to join in with a drunken slur. Needless to say I bolted out of there completely freaked out and started pounding on Jay's door to have her let me in and let me recover from the shock. I was really scared I'd get raped again. Not that I'm worried about getting into a relationship with another guy though. I wonder if I ever would again. I have never dated before though. I sure wonder what it feels like. And so Jay was patting my back, holding me, calming me down as I sobbed into her shoulder.

"Hey, it's okay... So now we both know never to walk into lounge rooms without knocking."

"They should've locked the damn door if they were going to get stoned and drunk."

"I know... I know... My brother really hated college because of all the people thinking they're above it all. Now I get it." She said, and I collasped backwards into her bed, groaning.

"It's only been a month! What the hell!" I yelled, and Jay laughed.

"Well, maybe we'd figure out ways around college in like, another month?" She said kindly, and I groaned again. I held my hand up to the ceiling, staring at my black nail polish. I had even placed a skull sticker over the index finger. Rythian had been pretty okay with it, he said it looked cool on me. It's nice having someone who's more of an older brother than a parent, it made me feel less suffocated. And... Normal, honestly.

"Alright Kyo, let's get studying or we're never passing this test. Or rather I'm never passing this test what in the world do you do, Genius?" She complained, opening up her textbook and my notebook. I laughed.

"I don't know really. My mind just processes things better I suppose. Must be the Asian in me."

"Did you just-"

"Yeah I was being racist to myself."

And for a moment we were silently admiring how ridiculous that statement was before we burst out laughing into our hands. We were giggling for a good five minutes before we were both wheezing. And then we relaxed. And then we burst out laughing again.

Yeah. This is the best way to cope with PTSD.

*** *** ***

I want to tell you that"You don't have to cry anymore."

Please don't be afraid, I won't do anything

I'll cry with you, for you

Please, don't be scared

*** *** ***

"And so the concepts with the creative use of design principles-"

"Kyo, my brain hurts..."

"Oops, too much?"

"Too much." Jay complained, and I laughed. We stretched.

"Well, I suppose it's about time I leave." I said, and Jay immediately grabbed the clock.

"Oh gee, you're right! It's past four-thirty, I'd better get you home or Joakim would be worried." She said, throwing on her black leather jacket. I looked at her, bewildered.

"You're sending me back?"

"Driving. You're not old enough for a licence and I don't want Joakim to think I'm a bad influence." She said without thinking. But I thought way deeper than that. So deep, I'm not sure if anyone could even see me any more. Serves me right for being in English Literature.

"Right..." I mumble, throwing on my grey cardigan. God, what is wrong with me.

"Jay?" I whispered silently, but she heard me and turned around carelessly, her black hair fluttering, those blue eyes that sparkled like the night sky. I swallowed.

"Yeah Kyo?" She asked, her head cocked to the side curiously, ignorant of what I was about to confess.

"... I..." I hesitated. Was it appropriate to mention it then?

... Maybe not.

"Never mind."

She looked at me strangely, then grinned and grabbed me by the wrist.

"Come on now before your curfew!"

"It's not a curfew I just don't want Joakim to worry!"

"Yeah yeah same diff." She said, dragging me out and kicking the door shut with her foot.

*** *** ***

At the point where past and future cross

Is where I lost my direction

Why are you living?

Answer within a hundred characters

*** *** ***

"I'm home." I groaned and nearly fell over in exhaustion. Rythian poked his head out from the office.

"Welcome back. You're early today."

"Jay had a motorcycle." I answered shortly, collasping on the couch. Rythian just laughed and went back to whatever he was doing. I sighed and got up to go to my room, dumping my bag on the floor and sat down on the bed with my laptop. Door locked and closed. Skype being dialed, headphones plugged in.

"Hey Kyo! And- Hey, where's Rythian?" Zoey answered, and I sucked in a deep breath.

"I'm making a video call in secret because I don't want Rythian to find out just yet and I'm actually very worried about this and you're literally the only person I can ask about this."

"Okay, whoa, relax. What happened?" She sounded worried for a moment, before I told her.

"I just realised that I'm Bisexual and I have fallen in love with my current college best friend. One, how do I ask her out without making it sound weird, two, and also more importantly, how do I tell Rythian?" I asked all of this very quickly. Zoey held up both hands in surrender.

"Still too fast. But I'd answer. About that girl... I think dropping little hints help. And coming out to her might also make a lot easier on your part in figuring out whether or not she's straight. Just confess with a simple 'I like you. Would you go out with me?' and it should go smoothly. Secondly... About Rythian huh. I suppose that'd always be the tough one. I don't think Rythian would be a problem though, seeing how he isn't lecturing or anything about me. Just sit him down and say it-"

"But Zoey... He's your friend. And he doesn't see you every day! He could be okay with you because it's not really his business but I am his business. That's what I'm afraid of." I blurt out, the fear tumbling right out of me like marbles down a steep slope. Zoey stopped, and leaned back, considering her words carefully. I swallowed hard.

"I don't know really. It took a while for my own parents to come to terms with it either. It took them a long time. But I've always figured that the key to coming out was in being straightforward. My advice would just to say it. Don't act all nervous and things, even if you are. All you need to do is sit him down and say : 'I'm Bi.' And wait for the reaction." She said after a long pause, and her smile was a little odd. Almost faraway. But not unkindly. I sighed and shrugged. Maybe this was going to be harder than I thought. Maybe I should hide it until I needed to introduce someone. I don't know what to do. I sighed.

Then my phone rang - or should I say chirped? I had set my ringtone to the sound of a bird chirping. Jay was calling me, and I wondered about how silly it was.

My ringtone was set to the call of a Blue Jay.