Cursed - Adopted By Yogscast

Flightless

Entry No. 120, 2nd November. Weather : Fair. Mood : Waiting On Something

2nd November. A day before her birthday. Unbelievable, can't believe I still remember it after all those years. It's so annoying. Not even the lies and truth can even grasp your speech, your actions, or your expression.

... What am I even saying?

- Signing Out, Hades Suzuki

* * *

Have I told you the story of how I lived through Hell in High School? I suppose not. Let me start with a name.

Christopher. How can I forget Christopher? Old, awesome, super cool Christopher. Clad in this stupid grey hoodie with the sleeves always rolled halfway up and some sort of geek shirt, like Star Wars or Hellboy or something like that. Sure, there was this once where he decided to Fuck It and turned up wearing a dress shirt and vest and the girls would not stop screaming as he walked past for the entirety of the eight hours of school.

I didn't know much about him, except that the sucker knew how to dress. I would not say that he was hot, in fact he was anything but hot. But Christopher had a face that would make the girls swoon and even the straight boys would get a little confused.

So basically, he looked a bit like a cute girl. Freaking Christopher. I will admit that I had a little crush on him for a bit, until he started going on and on, laughing at me and making jokes about my family. It makes me physically ill to think of it.

I would shut my eyes, put my headphones on and walk away, shouldering my way out of anyone who stopped to laugh at me. Christopher was not popular. He was notorious. The so-called 'Popular' kids were way nicer, but they did love to kick me down the stairs and run away when I looked to see who did it.

They thought I never noticed. Joke's on them, I did. No way in hell was anything he did to me okay. Egging people on to hit me, throwing me to the ground and laughing as he and his little group of friends and feverent admirers ran away. And I would be left there, books scattered on the ground, a bruised face, and dreading the thought of going back to a guy who would get mad at me for allowing someone other than him to hit me. And heck, it pissed me off. Not just that, I was hurt, I was crying, I was screaming. I wanted to punch something and then die in a little pit.

Somehow, that was what kept me alive.

In the end, I graduated at the same time as him. I went on to college and Christopher was never heard from again. And guess what Chris, I have a proper parent now. Guess what, I made it into college and you were never heard from again. I won't say I hate you. But you know what, I despise you with every single bit in me.

* * *

Entry No. 121, 3rd November. Weather : Gloomy. Mood : Wish I Could Be There

...Happy birthday.

How's it been? How old are you today? Sixteen? Seventeen? Eighteen? I can't remember. I can't remember any more. Which is strange, I remembered everything else about you. Creepy, I know. I don't know where I went wrong. I don't know why I did what I did.

I'm a coward. Because I couldn't admit to you that I fancied you. No, I admired you. You know, if my pride didn't control half my brain maybe we could've been friends. Real friends.

I'm sorry to all my followers who are now confused. Because I haven't been posting anything but things about her.

Hidden behind the mask are the feelings I'm giving up on, saying 'it's a play'. Running along my cheeks are the remains of my cold hard feelings.