Absolute Insanity (Abused Male Reader)

Summer Time (Short)

1st Person

Summer and I were just chilling in a bakery, eating sweets as usual. It fucking sucks. I was just sitting there, holding my stomach.

You: Cyka blyat, why did you make me eat so many?

Summer: *Eats cookie whole* Oh don't be such a crybaby! Look at me. 45 and eating like a certain 15 year old.

You: By the way, she has a girlfriend.

Summer: SHE DOES!? WHO IS IT!

You: An old friend of mine. She took a liking to him and vice versa.

Summer: OOOOOO! I CAN'T WAIT TO HAVE MORE GRANDCHILDREN!

You: MOM!

Summer: Oh sweetie, you don't have to tell me. Just make sure to not use protection.

You: YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!

By this time everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, was looking at us like we said "If you're homeless, just buy a house".

You: *Sigh* Let's, let's just go now.

Summer: *Giggles* As long as you give me grandchildren!

I groan and walk out of the bakery. I left 100000 lien on the table for charges and a certain someone buying 10000 cookies.

You: *Sigh* That's a dent in my wallet.

Summer: *Giggles* Well you did say to get whatever I wanted~

You: But I didn't say to BUY A MILLION COOKIES!

Summer: What? I can't help it, I love cookies.

You: IT'S GOING TO MAKE ME BROKE!

(Timeskip)

We were sitting in the cafeteria, talking to Tallon and Ruby.

Ruby: ............... And that's how we got together! *Smiles awkwardly*

Tallon: YeP.

Summer: Awww! It's just like my books!

You: Hang on a fucking minute, what books?

Summer: These books. *Pulls out Ninjas of Love*

You: *Takes away books as Tallon covers Ruby's eyes* NO! NOT THESE BOOKS!

Tallon uncovers Ruby's eyes and looks at Summer.

Tallon: The fuck were you thinking, mate?

Summer: I don't know! I'm just having fun! I thought you two already did it!

You/Tallon/Ruby: OUM DAMN IT!

(Timeskip)

I was sitting in my room, deciding to have Ruby take care of Summer for the time being, I just hope they don't go-

Summer/Ruby: *Barged through the door* CAN WE BORROW YOUR WALLET!

You: GET THE HELL OUT! NO! YOU'RE NOT GETTING COOKIES AT THIS HOUR! IT'S FUCKING MIDNIGHT!! LET ME SLEEP!!!!

Ruby: Ojay. *Looks sad* *Sniffle* Plwease? *Gives puppy eyes*

Summer: Plwease? *Also giving puppy eyes*

You: *Inhale* AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

______________________________________
THAT'S ALL FOLKS! If you get it cookie for you. If you don't get it. *Smiles sadistically* Imma have to kill ya chief. See Ya 🤗