Broken

Closure

"What do u want from me this time?" I snapped as he sat on the bed
"You" he said... this would have sounded short and sweet before but, right now it made no sense to me
"When i'm gone you want me back, when i'm with you, you do nothing worth making me stay" I said fiercely
"That's not it"  he replied
"Oh! I see, you know all I ever wanted was for you to want me, you know if i treated you like you treated me you'll probably hate me by now" I spoke now facing him
"I'm sorry for hurting your feelings, I know I messed up and i'm so sorry" he said sounding so sincere.. he slipped his hands in the black plastic he held and brought out a white box.
I immediately recognized it, it was my favorite chocolate
My mouth watered at the thought of the confection inside the box, Common sense told me to ignore this, I could already hear my head saying "you are on your own if you take it"
I rolled my eyes showing him I wasn't interested in it, my thoughts now reminding me I was worth more than a box of chocolate.. (expensive nice chocolate my taste buds said)
For a split second I considered accepting his gift
"your favorite chocolate Lisa" he tried convincing
"I know. I could get that on my own" I said, knowing fully well I couldn't afford it except, I saved for ages
He stood up, his trousers a little down his butt making his boxers visible. He slipped his hand over his hair then blew out breath, still looking at me
"I give up" he said and left

Light sobs left my throat as he slammed the door..  I knew this was closure

I had to move on. First, I needed inner peace, Somehow I had to find a way to move on...Breakup hurts but loosing someone who doesn't see your importance is actually a gain... I reminded myself

"Whenever I had free time, if I wasn't reading a novel, I concentrated on testing new recipes" I answered Miss Amelia, the psychotherapist
As she asked the questions I prayed she didn't get deep
"What are your fears" She asked, not making eye contact
Silence stole the air, I didn't answer not because i didn't want to but because I didn't know how to explain it
"The Fear you don't face becomes your limit.. there is no 3rd party in the room, you can trust me, explain it to me anyhow, trust me, I sure will understand"

For a moment I thought she was a psychic
she just knew the right words to say still, I had nothing to say, not just yet
"If you want me to help you, you have to let me in, you have to trust me" she said calmly. Even without any direct eye contact I could feel her dark eyes fixed on me... I wanted to leave at the same time, I wanted to tell her how I felt. I didn't come this far just to come this far. I sat down thinking, Quitters don't win and winners don't quit. I won't loose myself because of my past.. I said
A little voice whispered in my head 'Easier said than done'
I shrugged off the thought as i raised up my head, now facing Amelia who was still staring at me
"Fear of ending up alone" As the words left my lips, I fixed my eyes to the pile of books on her desk
"Autophobia" she said
"Fear of being.. being touched" I stammered as the words left my lips
"Haphephobia" she said, but not writing it down this time, Just looking at me
"I get where all this is coming from" she said
as she took the file i had filled when I came in. She wrote on the A4 paper "Haphephobia"
Our eyes met in quiet understanding. I knew she knew what was up...

That was a whole lot of emotions, I thought as I left her office. I stood out waiting for a Cab, the weather wasn't so bright. After about 10mins It started drizzling lightly, I then decided to go back to the building.. As i moved towards the chairs at the hospital reception, I heard someone call my name, a wave of familiarity hit me, I looked towards the direction where the sound came from, It was the blue eyed doctor.