Broken

It just doesn't stop rolling

"And you kept it away from me mum" I said at the top of my voice
"I'm sorry liz" she said
"This is your health we are talking about here, working your ass off to send me to an expensive university doesn't make sense, what is having wealth if you are not there mum?.
"You have so much on your plate right now Liz, I didn't want to add.."
"your health is my priority mum, can't you see?"I interrupted her and my voice was filled with rage
I stood helplessly looking at her, mentally comparing her to the last time I saw her. She had depreciated.. Her eyes said more than her lips could.
"Mum" I said as I fitted my fingers into hers
"Baby" She said trying to dry her face
"Fight for me" I said fighting back tears
She said nothing but tighten her grip.

I watched her drift into slumber. She slept peacefully. The beeping sound of  machines were the only reminder I was at the hospital. The room was filled by fragrance from freshly cut flowers, it sure was the hospital's strategy to make the hospital smell free.
I leaned on the chair I sat on, tilting my head on one side and supporting it with my left hand. I had little or nothing to smile about except for my mum. I couldn't believe this was really happening. I watched her chest move up and down I was scared if I didn't observe the motion she might give up the ghost, I watched her for what seemed like hours then slowly, I slept off too.

Her dark eyes were fixed on me as my eyes fluttered open. Her smiled sent a rush of joy to my heart. I moved to get my phone to check the time. It was only 3 in the morning.
"How do you feel mum" I asked
"I can survive anything just knowing I have you" came her reply
I did nothing but smile. I needed to hear those words
"Could you please help me to the bath?" she pleaded
"Sure mum" I said. I moved her from the bed so she could stand on her feet. She moved like her limbs didn't belong to her, more like each step she made was a negotiation rather than an order. Pain is invisible but somehow I could see this and even feel.
I pulled the drip stand with one hand and supported her with the other hand as we left the bathroom.
"Gently" I said as she climbed on the bed. She moved to the edge of the bed and I covered her. Immediately she settled on the bed, she began coughing, I raised her up and patted her back for what seemed like a minutes but it persisted.
On and on she kept coughing. After trying all what I could but to no avail I ran to John's office. My brain wasn't functioning, I didn't have time to think so, I just barged into his office.I wished I knocked.
"I'm sorry, my mum.. she needs help" I stared at them waiting for a reaction which came faster than I expected
"Let's go" He stood up rapidly, collected his stethoscope from the desk then rushed to the door
I rushed back  to the room before he could get there to find my mum still coughing intensively.
"John do something please" I said almost in tears
2 nurses walked in and I was asked to move out, I forced my feet to walk out of the room. The see-through door was shut and covered with a door blind which prevented me from seeing what was happening in the room
I sat on the closest chair by her ward. I covered my face with my palms fighting back tears from running down my cheeks and trying to stop negative thoughts from running through my mind, it seemed so impossible. Negativity had its way.
The door flung open and a nurse hurriedly walked out, in less than 5 minutes she went back in holding a drip bag. Again, the door was shut and the door blind fixed I sank back into the chair.
Seconds seemed like minutes and, minutes like hours. Fear stole my heart as I sat on the wooden bench. I couldn't do anything at that point. I felt so helpless.
A silent thought popped on my mind but, I tried to shrug it off but it seemed almost impossible.
"Please don't take her away from me, please lord. I can't survive loosing her" my lips shook as I burst into tears after making a silent prayer. I felt as if my heart was about to escape from my chest. I covered my face with my palms for the hundredth time that morning, I tried putting myself together.
It is a little too early to start mourning, a voice in my head said and I ignored it

"John" I said as he came out of the room
"How is she? what's happening to her? is she okay? please talk to me" I asked quizzically as I moved towards him. My body shook as the questions escaped my lips
He held my hands, pulled me close to him then, wrapped his hands around me. As much as I wanted a tight hug but more than that, I wanted answers.
"She is out of danger" Like raindrops on a sunny day, I felt a wave of ease hit me
"Th..Th..Thank you" I stammered as I struggled with tears and words
"Shuuuu... Hush now" he said drying my we cheeks.
We sat on the wooden bench. His left hand in mine and my head on his shoulder. He broke the silence after minutes of tranquility.
"I'm sorry about yesterday" he said
"What about yesterday?" I asked pretending not to know what he was talking about
"Sky's mum, this morning too" he said
My hunch was right.. I knew it, Screamed the voice in my head
"I sure do have a name and it's very much functional dear husband" She said stressing on the dear husband
Standing in front of us was Sky's mum.
Abigail, my brain reminded me. The name was functional