Broken

Warm honey eyes

The drive seemed longer than I expected, I tried disguising my uneasiness as we drove away in the opposite direction from the hostel. Why will somebody choose to travel such a great distance to go to work everyday?
why sweat it? I wondered after about 20 minutes.
Here I was, thinking about why somebody chose to stay where he did, when I hadn't solved my own problems. I shook my head at my own thoughts

The gate was a wrought iron gate with spikes at the top. It was open on one side yet, it looked so wide. A man fully clothed in security uniform ushered me, he looked physically tired, I quickly assessed then, concluded I sure didn't look any better. As we walked in, for more than a moment I was stunned by the beauty of the building
I doubted if there was anyone who could resist the beauty of this house, the house was unapologetically modern. The portrait on the wall of John and a little girl caught my attention, her eyes almost brown but not really brown, a kind of shade not easy to come by. Damnnn, I screamed though just in my head

"I'm sorry for keeping you waiting" John said startling me as he spoke from behind
"It's nothing" I said trying to shake off the fear
as he stood in front of me, summer sky could be defeated by his eyes, I thought as we briefly made eye contact. He noticed my swollen eyes immediately, he stared at the eyes with concern but he didn't ask any question

I brushed a stray curl off my forehead as we sat on separate cue chairs, comfy was an understatement
"Are you okay" he asked not staring at me
I hesitated, I couldn't admit it
"yeah I am" My voice didn't come out in its usual fill pitch as I answered
John woke up abruptly from his chair and slid to my chair
"You know that's not true" he said as he sat by me
I knew what he meant when he asked, it wasn't okay comfortable but, okay mentally and, I didn't have plans on pretending like I didn't know what he meant
"I know" I admitted in a husky murmur, I was a horrible liar
I glanced up, fixing my eyes to the plasma TV fitted to the wall
"Boyfriend issues?" he asked and, honestly that was the last question I expected
"Yeah" I answered
This was a sensitive topic I didn't want to talk about.
"you love him"
Silence stole the air because I didn't answer. He went on
"Does he love you?"

I had 2 options, sit here and continue diary session with this blue eyed man or just collect my purse and leave
I could choose the latter but I didn't .
"I did he didn't.. I don't and, now he does" I said summarizing my whole love life as short as possible
"You didn't love him" he said and I froze up
"oh really" I said as I rolled my eyes
"Yeah really, If you truly loved him like you said then, how did you fall out of love?"
"That sounds nice coming from a love expert" I said sounding pissed
I chose the wrong words and, I knew he understood what i meant
He said nothing but gave me a pale smile
"I'm sorry" I said as guilt stab me
"you are right, I am a divorcee. I really shouldn't be giving you love lectures...(he paused) and, I wouldn't want you having a happily never after like I did" He said stressing on the never

John used the right words to make me feel guilty. I could hear my conscience whisper, You- went-too-far

"I think you are right. I don't think I ever stopped loving him because, I never really did" I said as I lowered my eyelashes
"Then, you really don't have to let go, cause you were never holding on" he said softly. I could sensed a restraint as he spoke like, not wanting to say much

Before I could reply, we were interrupted by a woman, she looked like she was in her early 50s, she wore a white t-shirt and a pair of black trousers, she looked better than I did.
Her hair was tied in a bond, making the dark patches beneath her eyes really visible
"Sorry for interrupting" she apologized, her voice sharp and clear
"It's okay Nana" John said
Nana... My brain highlighted that
"Sky woke up and since then she's been calling out for you" She said frustratingly
Almost immediately a little girl walked in, her almost warm honey eyes were filled with tears, she held a teddy bear close to her chest like, it was the last penny in her purse. She sat close to John leaning on his arm
"Why is my big baby crying" John said as he wiped her tear streaked face
She said nothing
"Now, she doesn't want to talk to daddy too" he said to himself as he tingled her
She burst into laughter... I smiled as I watched them play
She noticed a 3rd party and her gaze was now fixed on me
"Sky, you know it's rude to stare". John said
"good evening, I've been wishing to meet you for reasons more than one". she said and I was shocked by her choice of words

I bet at her age I couldn't say that fluently.

John laughed after noticing my shocked face

"She took that line from a movie and since then She keeps saying it" John said still laughing
"Dadddd..." she screamed then covered her face with her hands like her biggest secret had just been revealed
We all laughed
"You are pretty" she said
Another line, a voice in my head reminded me immediately
I smiled as I touched her cheeks
"That wasn't a line from the movie" Jack whispered in my ear
My cheeks flared up almost immediately