Broken

Epoxy

*Hi guys... Sorrrrrrry for not updating lately, been busy with exams😩 but luckily i'm done☺️ I will try to makeup by writing lengthy chapters and updating frequently. I'm sorry 😐

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What's happening to her" I said trying to keep calm as we got into his office
"We gave her some pain relievers" John said, then he smiled in a cold and distant way as he stood facing me
"Tell me" I demanded
"Please" I added after few seconds of silence
"I am trying my best Liz" he said softly
"Can't you see your best is not good enough John, She is becoming bone and skin. The morphines just make her restless, how long will she depend on them? tell me what's going on already. I can't take it John, help me please. I can't loose her, not now, please do something"
"Morphine is the best option we have now" his words splintered inside me causing more pain
"What of an alternative best? I have nothing against pain relievers but stop whats causing the pain already. Please do" I said as tears rolled down my cheeks.
I saw his hand move to my arms, he reduced the gap between us as he made pulled me closer to his chest. He wrapped his hands around me, placing my head on his shoulder and gently rubbing my arms. The most precious things are not things. Despite the heaviness in my heart and the lump in my throat, for what seemed like seconds I found peace as our bodies pressed together. Somehow the room felt warmer, somehow I felt safe in those strong arms as they wrapped around my frail body.
"Tough situation build strong people. Don't loose hope, be strong" He whispered tightening his embrace
"I see my life shattering on the ground, I just want to feel okay, I want this pain to go away, I can't loose her" I said as I struggled with the tears but even the tears defeated me, it rested on his shirt.
"Rock bottom is a solid foundation on which beautiful things are built. Challenges are gifts that force us to fight for a new center of gravity. Face them don't fight them."
"I'm trying"
"That's powerfully humorous" he said while giggling
"laughing at me huh?"
"Who laughs at a girl who looks this cute while crying?" he said in a playful tone
"Nobody except you" I said while laughing
I escaped from his embrace trying not to get too used to his hands wrapped that close to my skin
"Thank you for watering my shirt" he said while laughing
I covered my face with my palms as he spoke trying to dry it.
"Guilty as charged" I said while avoiding contact
"Back to normal I guess" He said
"I don't get it"
"Nope, nothing"
"You cutting me off" I snapped
"Damnnn you playing the victim now" he said widening his eyes
"Nope that's from it" I defended
"okay whats closer to it then?" he asked now fixing those blue eyes into mine
Before I could come up with something to say he began talking
"You know I don't just want to be there for you all the time" he said and my eyes widened. I felt a sharp pain in my heart as I heard him talk
"Okay. I'm sorry for bothering, I th..ink..I thin..k I think I will check up on her now" I stammered as I spoke
"I don't just want to be there for you all the time, I want to be there by you Liz" Something about the way he spoke added more spice to his words. Sincerity in his tone was an understatement. I looked at those blue eyes which I could drown in all day and the way he played with his fingers out of nervousness as he spoke was something you want to watch twice.
What was happening to me? minutes ago I was drowning in my own tears but somehow he managed to lighten my mood
Was it just those blue eyes that left me spellbound or the sound of his voice maybe it was the way his mouth moved as he talks.
"Are you with me?" he asked as I shrugged off the random thoughts
"Yeah I am" came my reply
"I don't want to pressurize you right now but believe me Liz, my head won't listen to my heart on this. I think i've fallen deeper than I expected. I know you might be broken right now but believe me I want to love the broken pieces, let me love the broken you. I don't care if I have to deal with you crying all day and night. I just want to be that shoulder you can lean on, I want to be that arm you yearn for, the arm you want wrapped around you, Let me be your listening ear just let me love you Liza"
"I don't know what say. I want you too but.."
"No buts please, I just want to know if you feel the same way"
"I can't explain how I feel" the words slipped from my lips before I could realize it
"Forgive me L..i..z"
"For.. give yo.."
He moved his lips a bit close to mine and I stood frozen. Slowly every thought was obliterated. I wanted to pull away before it could get too late but, as if he had access to my thoughts, he clasps his hands on the sides of my face. His forehead resting on mind, my fingers interlocked in his and his smell flooding my thoughts. I could feel his heavy breathing on my skin.My eyes were closed and my feet stocked to the ground, I could feel his gaze on me, I opened my eyes hesitantly and my eyes got lost in the blue deep sea. His gaze was fixed on me, sending shivers down my spine.
I could hear my brain scream over and over "Run, Run, Run..." but whatever kept me still was louder than the screams in my head
"I really want to do this but i'm scared of the outcome" he said in whispers his voice full of desire
"John" I whispered his name
"I am sorry" he said now a little bit louder
"You don't have to be" I said
"Why?" came his question
"I wasn't fixed to the ground" I said honestly then, lowering my gaze
"Tell me why you didn't leave" he said
"If you don't mind" he added
"I can't explain what is it I feel but the feeling I get when I am with you is unexplainable. I couldn't leave even if I wanted to" I said in a whisper almost inaudibly
He kissed my forehead softly, and pulled me into his arms one more time but this time even tighter. His arms felt like an epoxy of broken pieces in them I felt whole.
Don't fight the feeling Liz, I could hear my heart tell my head.