Broken

Dried tears

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I sat wearing my seatbelt and John did same. He opted dropping me at the hostel earlier So, here he was. It was pretty late already, Sky made hours seem like seconds. So
much joy in one little soul, the thought of her made me smile
"You should try that often you know." John said as he looked at me briefly
I didn't expect him to notice because his gaze was fixed on the road
"I will consider doing that more often" I said
"You prefer being moody always? he asked
"I'm not always moody" I defended
"hahahaha" he laughed provocatively as he took a bend
"I smile often" I said
"When you fake a frown you hurt others, when you fake a smile you hurt yourself" he said softly
Some words sink deep, this blue eyed boy always used those words
"You are bent on doing this all the time huh?" I asked while raising my right brow
he said nothing for few seconds then said calmly
"I am trying to get you"
get get or get get?I thought quizzically.
"I'm that jigsaw puzzle you might never be able to figure out"
"I might not be able to figure you out only if, you have missing pieces" he said staring at me for few seconds
Before now, Just my mum had the ability to make me speechless. I think somebody new just added to the list
For the rest of the drive, silence bristled between us though our eyes met a couple of times and mine quickly left his gaze.
"Here we are" he said.  We were in front of my hostel
"Thank you" I said while smiling
"I should be the one thanking you" He said

Moments like this where nobody wanted to be thanked always felt awkward to me

Just accept the thank you already I screamed, though in my head
"It was nothing" I said

I was being thanked for coming to collect my purse which I forgot in his car. This blue eyed creature was something else. If he insisted on thanking me all the way, who was I to refuse?
Before he could open his door to open mine, I was down already.
"I was about..." he tried explaining
"No it's ok" I said before he could complete his sentence
Too many gentlemanly gestures for one day

I flung myself on the bed as I got into the room. I rolled on the bed, my back in contact with the worryingly hard mattress  and my face facing the ceiling. Fun filled day, I thought as I smiled
My gaze found the broken frame still lying on the floor, it brought back memories of what happened earlier. I thought of cleaning the mess but, my heavy eyelids wouldn't let me. I slipped into slumber that night without sedatives and little or no negative energy. The start didn't matter the end did. I wished I could let than sink deep

The buzzing sound of my phone woke me up.
"Mum" I said half awake and half asleep
"Sleeping beauty " She said half laughing
"I'm not sleeping"
"Yeah yeah you are sleep talking, there's a difference you know" She said teasingly
"No i'm awake" My eyes were still shut
"Happy Birthday baby. You are my favorite blessing and, I hope this day brings you incessant happiness." she said and I could feel her throat tighten. She was fighting back tears
This day brought more pain than joy. It was my  late dad's birthday too. Since he died I hadn't celebrated it and I wasn't planing on starting today
"Thank you mum" I said as tears flooded my eyes
As she hung up, I laid on the bed thinking. After few minutes I took my diary and scribbled the words
"There isn't a day that goes by where I don't, at some point think of you. Happy birthday in heaven dad."
The dried tears on the pages of my diary told a different story. A story I wouldn't let anyone read easily.