Broken

Scars of trauma

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For 1 week 3days and 14hours, the only heart beating in the room had been mine and, the only connection I had with the outside world was with my window. Day-in-day-out all I did was sit alone. The silence that echoed in my ears had become my only constant noise. I sat often lost in thoughts as my loneliness grew.

As darkness stole the sky earlier that day, I popped the regular melatonin and swallowed. It's effects on me were becoming slow, I laid on the bed hoping to fall asleep, Slowly I drifted into slumber.
Every night was now the same. Desperately, I tried to sleep and, when I go to sleep desperately, I try to wake up. This night wasn't an exception.

The nightmare took me back to lying half naked, shaking, pleading in sobs. With every recollection I felt less of a girl which made my insides burn. Don't let your past define you, I could hear Amelia's voice ringing in my head as I walked to get a glass of warm milk and honey.
I sat checking my mails, I ignored Amelia's. I went through the rest which I realized were not really important. I logged out ignoring the rest of the mails. A couple of voicemails and tons of messages, I couldn't ignore this.

Amelia: "Whenever you see this could you fix a day for us to see? Be safe Lisa please" It was sent 5 days ago
John: "I come to your hostel everyday and I still can't find the courage to knock at your door. I am sorry Lis..." I didn't finish the message. I could hear John's voice in my head as I read it, envisaging his blue eyes fixed on me sent chills down my spine.
I hadn't confronted Jack, everything about him irritated me. I wanted to be calm before meeting him, but I could feel the breaking point of my patience. Every single day, I could feel my anger boiling up instead. I continued reading messages from the school's group chat. I sure had a lot of catch-up to do. Locking up myself and skipping classes wasn't going to make the pain disappear, I still felt like a ghost in the world of paper dolls. I popped more sleeping pills after few minutes and I drifted into oblivion.