Just a Game | ASHANNIE | ✓

twenty-eight

Annie had gone to the gift shop after a while. She had a lot of fun joking around with Avi and meeting the rest of Asher's family. She wanted to give them some time altogether though, she couldn't help but feel like she wasn't meant to be there.

The gift shop was small, and mostly baby things but she found a card and teddy bear and she bought a drink for herself. Afterwards, was sipping on the drink outside of the gift shop, trying to give the family more time. She had a few texts. Some from Jayden and the groupchat she had with Lilia, Anna, and Will. There were also some dms from Kenzie.

Kenzie: hey! I know we don't talk much but I just wanted to apologize and make sure you were okay. If I had known Hayden would do something like that I wouldn't have invited him at all

Kenzie: are you okay?

Kenzie: I think you should know that Hayden's gonna be staying away, Johnny and Maddie will make sure of it.

Annieleblanc: hey, i'm fine. i appreciate the apology but it isn't your fault! also thank you for the help with him and thank johnny and maddie for me!

"Hey" Annie jumped as she looked up. Asher was making his way to her with his hands in his pockets. "What's up? I came to look for you cause you were taking a while."

Annie stood up, sliding her phone into her pocket and picking up the gifts. "Today seems like a really personal day for you, I didn't want to intrude too much." Asher was in front of her now, and he slid an arm over her shoulder as he walked her back.

"You're not intruding if I want you there." Asher said. "Besides, Avi was the one who wanted me to come find you. Today's all about him, bossman gets what he wants." Annie grinned.

But the grin faded lightly. "Today's about you too. It's about your entire family, but mainly Avi and then you. They didn't have guilt eating up at them, you did."

Asher's bright eyes flared. Annie's breath caught. "Or you do?"

Asher looked away. "Having him come back doesn't change the fact that I was the reason he was gone." He pointed out.

Annie thinned her lips. "He's the same age Caleb was." She started. "When someone dies, you think about all the things you could have done. Spent more time with them. Cherished them. Saved them. Said goodbye. All of the what ifs play in your head mixed with memories and heartbreak. I used to have this quiet, it was like everything around me faded and I could just hear his voice. When I figured out how to make it happen, I'd go hours without speaking to people, just listening. As time went on, his voice started fading into my own until I couldn't remember what his voice sounded exactly like. Then guilt ate up at me. I tried so hard to remember it and I couldn't."

"The worst thing to do to someone who has died in my opinion, is forgetting them. So forgetting his voice killed me. I didn't get over that self hate for a while."

"How did you get over it?" They were standing outside the room now, a little off to the side so nobody inside could hear them. Asher was looking at her with a softness that she didn't think she'd be able to recreate on her own face.

"I got into basketball." Annie's mouth quirked up. "I devoted myself to it, and told myself that I'd play for Caleb. I'd talk to him in my head before every game. I devoted myself to better things. Instead of hating myself, I knew I could work better to honor him. So maybe instead of hating yourself, you can just work to be a better brother. It's gotta balance out somehow right?"

Asher smiled down at her before leaning down and kissing her forehead. She felt a tenderness for him that she hadn't realized existed before he was pulling her back into the Angel's hospital room. Annie held up the bear and card. "I have gifts!"