The Broken Road - A Zac Efron Novel (18+)

Chapter 66 - With Arms Wide Open

My entire life changed in that moment. 

I had a million things to say – a million things to ask.  I wanted to hold her and tell her it would all be alright.  But, I knew it wouldn't and I knew I would be of little comfort to her in that moment.

I had imagined that moment dozens of times. 

We were both adults, we both knew how babies were made, so it would be a lie to say  it was a surprise pregnancy.  Although, it wasn't a deliberate or planned one.  While we never discussed it directly, we both knew we could have gotten pregnant at any point during our relationship.  Since the first night together at my parent's, we'd never been careful.

I thought we were ready.  Or that we would easily get ready when the time came.

The last thing I imagined was finding out we were pregnant as I was barreling towards the rock bottom of addiction.

I wanted to be happy.  I wanted to believe I could be the man I would have to be.  But, I was numb.

I couldn't even imagine what she must have been thinking as she discovered we were pregnant at the same time she discovered I was using drugs.

I knew what I needed to do.

I called my manager and asked him to meet me at my house.  And then I called Dylan.  It was time to come clean to them.

And it was time to get clean, for real that time.

I quickly put the elements of Jessica's surprise back into a box, and brought it into my walk-in closet, setting it down on the floor.  I didn't want anyone else to know until I had a chance to talk to her first.

Dylan arrived first.  He found me sitting on the ground outside, tears streaming down my face.  They were tears of joy mixed with horror and fear.  He didn't need to ask any questions to understand things were about to get really bad.  He sat down next to me and placed a reassuring hand on my shoulder.

Jason, my manager, was next to arrive.  Dylan followed me into the dining room and we all took a seat around the table.  I took a deep breath before I finally unleashed.

"This is...really difficult to say," I started, already getting choked up.  "I thought I had everything under control, but I don't.  I've been getting high.  I could get into a long story about how and why I started, but the fact is I'm spiraling out of control and I'm about to lose everything," I blurted out.

I looked up at them, gauging their horrified expressions as I continued.

"I have been using...every day.  I've been showing up to set late if I show up at all, and I'm high.  All of the time.  I'm high right now."

"Jesus," Dylan blurted out.

"If I don't do something to change, I'm afraid I'm going to lose everything.  I overdosed once in December.  And again a few weeks ago."

Dylan buried his head in his hands.  I knew this was killing him as much as it killed Jess.

"And Jessica knew about this?" Dylan said, with anger and frustration in his voice.

"No.  She had no idea.  I lied to her.  Just like I've lied to both of you.  You're both here today because she found out the truth.  And I'm afraid I'm going to lose her forever."

I didn't tell them about the baby.  I didn't know if Jess would have wanted me to. 

Over the next few hours, we put together a plan for me to get help.  The next morning, I would be off to treatment. It wasn't rehab in the traditional sense, I'd detox and get therapy in a private home.  It would be easier to keep it out of the press that way.