The Broken Road - A Zac Efron Novel (18+)

Chapter 94 - To Have and To Hold

Of all of the obstacles we'd overcome in our relationship with each other, it turned out living on opposite sides of the country was the most difficult one of all.

After all that time, all of the feelings, all of the crazy meetings, and intense revelations, we were at a standstill. 

Again.

There was nothing I wanted more than to be with Jessica.  I knew she was the girl who was going to change my life forever since the first night we met.

I also knew if she gave up her life in New York to be with me, she would resent me for it; the same way I would resent her if I had to give up the only life I knew in California.

We had, in a way, moved on and built our own lives that no longer included each other.

As Alex and I stood in my kitchen the next morning, I prepared to let her down gently.  I knew I had to handle things the right way; she was still pissed at me from what I had done the other day- rightfully so.

I didn't know how I was going to be able to build a relationship with Jessica, but I knew that I couldn't string Alex along while I figured it out.

Even though she was an incredible, amazing woman, who I really did love, I knew I didn't love her enough.  She deserved more.

"I...uh," I began, but words somehow escaped me.

"I can't do this anymore, Zac.  I can't be in a relationship with someone and know I will never measure up.  I can't waste my time loving someone who is so obviously in love with someone else," she beat me to the punch.

"Alex...I...uh," I stammered out.

"Zac, you and I both know...what happened between the two of you the other day...it meant something.  I tried to deny that you were still in love with her.  I tried to convince myself I was overreacting.  But, I could see it on both your faces when you got back the other day.   She is the one you're supposed to be with."

I struggled to look her in the eyes while I confessed, "I wish she weren't.  Our relationship with each other...it's so complicated...all the time.  It's never been easy.  Loving you Alex...loving you is easy.  You're incredible.  You're one of the most amazing people I've ever met...and I would be the luckiest man alive to spend my life with you.  But, you wouldn't be the luckiest woman alive...because I gave my heart to someone a long time ago.  And I never got it back."

"No one ever said it was going to be easy...only worth it, right?  You guys have had it harder than anyone, so I can't imagine how worth it it will be when you finally figure it out.  I'll be ok.  I'm not the one for you.  We both know that now."

And we both did.

I flew back to New York to resume filming, and there was no one I wanted to talk to more then Jess, but I know I needed to figure things out first...to have some sort of plan on how we could move forward.

I made it to the set and headed for hair and makeup.  It was a quiet morning, just Hugh and I.

"How were your holidays?" Hugh asked as I sat down and sipped a cup of coffee.

"Alright, I guess.  I spent Christmas here and went back to LA for New Year's," I paused for dramatic effect, "and I broke up with Alex.  Or she broke up with me...we broke up with each other...something.  We're not together any more."

"So, you finally figured out you were with the wrong girl?" he smirked.

"So, you know about that too?"

"Everyone with eye balls knows about that.  Alex is a lovely girl, Zac.  But, the way you lit up around Jess...that is something special.  How, when she talks about you, her entire face glows and she smiles the entire time...those are emotions you can't fake.  You two randomly ran into each other on a New York City subway after all of those years.  And again at a baseball game..."