The Broken Road - A Zac Efron Novel (18+)

Chapter 76 - Therapy

After the phone call from Zac, I was up the entire night, over-analyzing absolutely everything about our relationship.

All relationships have balance.  It can't always be "up" all the time.  There are highs, there are lows, but in the end it balances out.  Our relationship started so high that it was hard to imagine us ever getting to a point where our lows would outnumber everything else.

The next morning, I made an emergency appointment with our therapist.

"I'm so sorry about what happened," he said as I walked into his office and shook his hand.

"Thank you," I replied as I took a seat across from him.

"I assume that is what brings you in today."

I sighed as I stared down at the floor.

"Not exactly," I hesitated as I fidgeted. "You can't tell Zac anything that I tell you, right?"

"That's right. What you share in your own sessions is strictly confidential. The same way what he shares with me is."

I took a deep breath as I shared the horrible truth.

"I think that..." I hesitated. "I think I want to get off the roller coaster."

"What does that mean? "Getting off the roller coaster?"

"I think I want to leave Zac," I said as tears filled my eyes.

Our shrink set his pen down on his notepad and froze.

Even he was startled by the revelation.

"I'm glad you called. When someone suffers a trauma like the one you did, one that was completely out of their control, making rash decisions can be a way for them to try and take back control of their life. I think it's important we talk about why you're feeling this way."

"That's not why I feel this way. At least I don't think it is," I said as the tears began rolling down my cheeks.

The doctor handed me a tissue and I dabbed the corners of my eyes.

"Let's start with talking about why you think you should leave Zac."

"When Zac and I started getting closer to each other...I don't think he was actually ready for a serious relationship. I think he always had a crush on me, and so when he had a chance, he took it, without realizing how much his lifestyle would change. I don't think he realized that meant giving up the party lifestyle."

"Recently, he's been committed to his sobriety though."

"He was. Until last night."

"Did something happen?"

"I don't know," I sighed, burying my face in my hands. "I called him last night and he was clearly drunk. And god knows what else."

"Did you talk to him about it?"

"What would have been the point? You can't have an important conversation with someone when they're in that state."

"That's true."

"This constant back and forth of him being sober for a little while, and then using again...it's exhausting. I'm so angry at him."

"You know, that's the first time you've said that since the two of you started coming to therapy."

"That it's exhausting?"

"No. That you're angry at him. It's ok to be angry at him."

"When we first started dating and I found out he used drugs, I told him if that was something he wanted to keep doing, he needed to let me know so I could walk away. Our relationship was so new...it would have sucked to have left him, but it would have been a lot easier then. He told me he would never use again. And a few weeks later, he did. I feel duped. I feel cheated."