Lorraine (Sequel To Wild Child)

Lost and Confused

Song for this chapter "Say You Love Me" Jessie Ware

As Lorraine

Roland is back from his business trip and I tell him I must see him tonight.  I am confused as hell at the moment and I don't want to wait anymore.  It has been bothering me since that day  Roland told me I should wait another 4 years till I am done with school before deciding to be with him.   I really was ready to be with him, my Roland Harris.  But instead, he made a decision for me that I should wait.  That makes no sense at all.  I need an answer tonight.  I am about to leave for Yale soon and I need to know exactly where we stand.  He is picking me up at 7 pm and as I am getting ready in my room, Shane walks in.  He starts asking me questions like where am I going , who I'm going with and what time I'm coming home.  I snapped "You are not my father."  I can see the hurt in his eyes and I feel bad, I'm just in a very bad mood right now.  I apologized right away "I'm really sorry Shane, I am just in a weird mood."  He comes over and he draws me into his arms "I'm sorry too.  I know you have your own life to live too.  I just want to see what time you will be home because I want to spend time with you.  You are leaving for Yale in less than 3 weeks."  My tone of voice softened "I know Shaney, I promise we'll get to spend more time together before I leave."  I stick out my hand "Pinky promise."  That's what we used to do all the time when I was little.  Finally Shane left my room and I got dressed.  

I just hope tonight goes well with Roland because I am nervous.  I have never been nervous like this before.  This is all very new to me because Roland is confusing the hell out of me.  I went down to the living room and saw Kyle and Lucas.  I asked them where was Shane...Kyle said he left.  It was not right for me to get mad at him earlier for no reason.  I am just pacing back and forth and I keep checking myself in the mirror.  Come on Lorraine, stop acting like a silly little girl waiting for her first date.  I can hear Roland's car coming into the driveway and I kiss Kyle and Lucas goodbye.  I ran out the door and as soon as he got out of the car, I jumped into his arms.  I kiss him on the lips hard "I miss you so much Roland Harris."  

At Roland's House

I specifically told Roland I didn't want to head out for dinner, I wanted to spend time alone with him at his house.  I told him we could call for food delivery , he told me he will make us dinner instead.  He has steaks in his fridge and he opened up a bottle of red wine.  I pour a full glass of wine for both me and him.  I need to have some alcohol in me to calm my nerves.  As he is preparing the steaks, I sat on the kitchen counter stool  watching him.  He is so damn hot.