Lorraine (Sequel To Wild Child)

New Beginning

Song for this chapter "Can't Get You Out of My Head" The Sweeplings

As Lorraine

When I see Roland standing right here in front of me, I have so much questions I want to ask him.

I invited him in and we went to the entertainment room. I sat down on a chair and he sat on the sofa facing me. We just look at each other for a while before he asks "How are you love?" I let out a dry laugh "How do you think I am Roland? Do you think maybe you should tell me what's going on?" He sits closer to me and puts his hand over mine "You know how I always tell you to live your life?" I nodded. He continues "I really mean it Lorraine. Life is too short you never know what is going to happen next. Like for me, I could have died twice." I know he is referring to his cancer and being shot "So you are trying to tell me you want to live your life by fucking other women." He removes his hand from mine and now he has his fingers cupping my chin "It's not about fucking other women love. I think the two of us should live the life that we want for now." I push his hand away "I told you I wanted to be with you. I told you I wanted to marry you." He shakes his head "You are only twenty years old. You shouldn't be thinking about these things right now. What happened to the Lorraine Fowler that I once knew?" I am really puzzled at what he is trying to tell me "What do you mean? I'm still the same girl but you changed." Then I smiled "No actually you didn't change. You are still the same Roland Harris, the playboy. How stupid was I to think that I would be any different than the other women you have fucked." He now has his hand on my arm "It's not like that love. You are the only one that I want to settle down with when we are both ready." Something occurred to me once he said that 'when we are both ready.' Why is he saying 'we' when it is clearly him that doesn't want to settle down right now. I realized all those times when I thought he respected my decisions and he never stopped me from seeing Shane, it was for his own convenience. It has always been all about him. Even when he exposed Morgan in front of everyone, it was for himself. He was the one in control and that was what he wanted. I know what kind of man Roland Harris is, he just loves games. He loves challenges and he loves competitions. I am no longer a challenge for him. I know it makes him feel so good knowing he has the upper hand in everything. He wants to be in control and even up till now, he wants to make it sound like he is doing this for me too. Because I am only twenty and I should be free and wild. If that's what he wants "I get it Roland... I really get it." He lets out a sigh of relief "So everything is okay love." He always have this look on him when he is waiting for me to give him an answer he likes to hear.