The Masked Emotions Redux: Linger

HIDDEN FEELINGS

Lana

Lana Matthews sat in front of her student adviser, staring at the woman's bony fingers go through her papers with her lips pursed while carefully examining it. This was something she loathed, the bi-monthly check-ins of her assignment grades to make sure her academic scholarship remain intact. She knew there was nothing to worry about, but her anxiety sat below her smile, her actions, her silly jokes while staring at the woman in her late sixties constantly glancing up, giving her nods of approvals to acknowledge her comments. When she was done, she didn't give her little usual commentaries of "You always perform so well, you excel at anything you do." Or "Oh, once again your grades have improved, you might give Ms. Rivera and Mr. Salazar a challenge for valedictorian." And "I don't know how you do it. You should be very proud of yourself." Instead, she slowly closed her laptop, readjusted her black plastic frame glasses, and thinned out her lips before sighing "Lana, your academic scholarship requires a minimum three-point five GPA, right now you have a perfect four-point zero, but with all the extra courses you are taking, on top of your extra curriculum activities. I'm afraid that you might burn yourself out."

Lana raised an eyebrow "I'm sorry Mrs. Miller, but I don't understand what you're telling me."

"What I am trying to say that it's visibly that you have a lot of stress and anxiety lately." She passively replied, "You need to try to take a break every now and then. Find something to help you relax, something to make your mind go blank. Otherwise, I fear that a domino effect might happen, and I do not want to see that, especially to a fabulous student such as yourself, as I stated before, take a break every now and then, 'kay?"

As she left the office, Lana knew that her advisor was indeed correct. She was very stressed, but it wasn't because of her studies or extra curriculum activities; it was because she cannot get him out of her mind. No matter what she did, she was constantly thinking about him. The man she met that night, Dom 241. That evening she spent with him was the most freeing experience she ever had. He got into her head in a way no man ever did and dissected her insecurities to the point that she just let go and time felt like it didn't exist. Then it was over.

After the session with him, she spent the first week talking to almost every guy in classes that fit his physical criteria, but the second they began talking, she knew they weren't him. The second and third week she researched online and much to her surprise, she wasn't the only one trying to discover who he was. There were dozens upon dozens of fan sites dedicated to him, from trying to discover his identity to people swapping stories of their encounter with him. There was even fan art about him. The man was a superstar within the S&M community and a complete mystery that was affecting her in a way she never thought was possible.

"I am stressed," She finally admitted to herself. "But what could I do to relax?" At first, she thought about calling her boyfriend over, so they could fool around, but if she was lucky, it would only relieve a small portion of it; otherwise, he would be relaxed, and she'll be more stressed in the end. No, she needed something more intense, something more stimulating. Samuel is a good boyfriend, to say the least, but he does have major faults. In the six months, they have been dating there were a few things that continued to annoy her. He was a selfish lover and a supposed male feminist that has temper tantrums whenever she wasn't in the mood. He never made sure she came and when it came to oral, he always stayed north. He also considered any position besides missionary and doggy to be a form of kink. Enzio called him a prude and a boring lover and he tried to give Samuel pointers that surprised her, but that just escalated certain things. It was abundantly clear that the two of them dislike one another, but they remain civil just for her.