The Masked Emotions Redux: Linger

THE CRUSH

MARIE

The only thing Marie Rivera hated about her summer vacation back at home was being forced by her mother to work in her family's restaurant La Cochina De Marie which was named after her shortly after her birth. At one time, she used to love working there and would spend every waking moment experimenting frying fruit pies, creating new sauces and dishes, which also played a huge part in her weight gain. Her father, Junior would be so proud of them and he would add them to the menu. "You are going to be the next greatest chef." Her father would praise time and time again and for a long time, she thought she would. She would watch her father be a one-man operation in cooking, serving, collecting, busing, and bartending, eventually as her siblings grew, they began working there as well, taking over different daily activities, but her father insisted on taking care of the customers. The restaurant was their safe place because it was the only place their mother avoided at all costs.

Like her siblings, Marie's childhood was toxic from birth, but for those on the outside looking in, her mother was looked at as exemplary; the embodiment of a loyal, supportive wife and mother. Her children were well-behaved, clean, smart, appeared to have a good relationship with her, and a husband who was loyal, attractive, and couldn't keep his hands off her. Yet to those on the inside, they were constantly walking on eggshells. Everyone, including her father, dealt with it, but for Marie, it was worse.

From the start, Marie wasn't the daughter her mother wanted and in turn, she wasn't the mother she needed. Her mother was always tougher on her than the others. Constantly yelling and punishing her over the most mundane or trivial things, only backing off when her father stepped in. However, it wasn't like he could do anything to her. Despite having what she would call a 'prison body' her father was a gentle giant and would often get verbally and mentally abused by this woman time and time again, but he would stick it out. Daily her mother would look at her and say. "The problem with you, Marie, is that you always want to be the center of attention." Mothers were supposed to love unconditionally, apparently, hers never got that memo

As she grew up, Marie considered it a blessing that she looked nothing like her mother, and her father would begin taking all the kids to the restaurant to make sure they would be safe from his wife's constant complaining, but he never got a divorce, "for better or for worse." He would tell all of them and they understood. In a neighborhood where most of the kids didn't know who their father was, Marie and her brothers felt fortunate that he stayed and protected them the best he could. However, Marie had no memory of her mother's arms around her, her gentle touch, or the softness of her cheek, she only remembered the harsh, backhanded comments and the snide remarks every time she tried to win her mother's love.

When she was eleven, Marie won the superman lottery and was able to get a scholarship into a prestigious private school which allowed her bothers to follow her by default. However, her mother wasn't thankful. She simply complained about the extra time it would take to take them to school and the extra costs for supplies, so her father took care of it, and still, Marie didn't give up on winning her mother's love. She was the only girl after all, that alone should be the sole reason for them to get along, but it only drove them further apart. Still, she didn't give up, she worked hard in school. She was a clever child, top of her class, a social butterfly, marred only by what her mother described as dumb insolence, and to Marie, it was her misery and she simply tried once again to win her love.

Then one day, everything changed in an instant. Her father was arguing with the two oldest boys, Marie didn't care what it was about, and she was dealing with her own problems. It was two weeks before prom and she had no longer had a date because the boy she thought liked her, only paid her attention because he heard that chubby girls liked giving head. She was once again made fun of by the other girls in the locker room because of her weight, she had no clue what she wanted to do after graduation due to the constant guilt trips her mother was putting her through all year, and on top of that, her mother humiliated her in front of what few friends she had left by telling her that they were only her friend because they wanted to get with her bothers, but she ignored it and tried on a prom dress that she struggled for months to lose ten pounds to fit in and it was perfect, she was happy until her mother ruined it. "You can't put lipstick on a pig and expect her to be pretty." Which caused an extremely uncomfortable silence between them and to add a nice cherry on top, her mother then told her best friend how Marie always had a crush on her which ended as much as she expected, with her best friend abruptly leaving and refusing to talk to her. Needless to say, she was having a bad day.