A Walk in the Park--Larry Stylinson

Not into Women

"Let's go sit on the couch," suggested Louis as he took the box of brownies to the kitchen. "It's more comfortable in there."

So they settled in and talked over tea. In conversation, Harry explained why he'd been in the thrift store when Louis had jumped his Rover. He said he'd wanted to be careful with money because he didn't know how much longer he'd be with the band.

Okay, thought Louis. So that explained something he'd wondered about.

So Louis figured he might as well get an answer to another mystery he'd been wondering about.

"Why were you wearing a blazer at Starbuck's?" he asked.

A sweet pink stain colored Harry's cheeks, and his eyelashes fluttered as he looked down, away from Louis' probing blue eyes. He couldn't seem to answer. Louis could see he was playing with words in his head, not certain how he should articulate it.

"Well, I . . . um . . . " There it was again. That endearing "um" that Harry so often used when words failed him, or were hard to retrieve.

"I wanted to make . . . a good impression." Harry acted as if that sentence was going to literally devour him. The very palpable embarrassment was so immense that it seeped into Louis too—it was that substantial. Louis could feel it as if it was a live thing. He wanted to cushion the impact, but couldn't think of a way to accomplish it.

He wasn't sure why Harry wanted to impress him. He didn't dare hope Harry was interested in him. In that way. Would have been nice though. That is, if Louis was looking for a boyfriend. Which he wasn't. Well, he wanted one, but that didn't mean it was the right time. If only he were the type to throw caution to the wind. Sometimes he hated his orderly little world.

"Why would you want to impress me?" he ventured bravely.

Now Harry was clearly in distress. He didn't know what he should say, and his throat worked helplessly.

"Cause I guess I just . . . thought you were a nice guy," he grimaced, knowing that sounded hollow and unconvincing as hell.

"Just a guy you saw at the grocery store, and didn't even know?" Louis pushed. Maybe it came across as a little on the cruel side, but he really wanted to hear the truth.

"You smiled at me," Harry said as if that clarified everything. Had he really smiled back at Harry? He must have, not even knowing he'd done it. That was how enchanted he'd been.

So maybe Harry was gay. Louis could understand someone being attracted to someone, because that is exactly what had happened when he'd seen Harry. But was a mutual smile all it took for Harry to want to impress him? It still didn't mean Harry was gay--it left a very large grey area.

Louis decided not to torture Harry anymore.

"Your Rover," he began. "It's a nice vehicle. An expensive one too." He hadn't mean to be so blunt, poking his nose into Harry's business like that. But he really was genuinely curious.

"Oh, our band is, I mean was, pretty successful in the area. I could afford it," Harry explained without seeming to take any offense.

Oh . . . well this was taking a different turn. Louis had never imagined Harry and his band were good enough to be in demand. That's what he got for assuming. Harry must be a pretty kick ass singer. That also explained why Harry didn't seem too concerned about finding another band. In truth, he seemed almost relieved that he'd broken free of them.

"Stop me if I'm bein' too overbearin,' but you don't make payments on the Rover?"

"No, it's paid off."