A Walk in the Park--Larry Stylinson

Mountain Stream

"S'okay," Harry said quickly. "I know I said it too soon, and I don't expect, or want you to say sommat when you're not ready. I just wanted you to know how I feel about you. And I guess I was curious to see what you thought of me confession."

Now Louis knew for sure he didn't dare try to start the cozy stuff again. It would feel to Harry like he was being used. Tell someone you're in love with them, and they don't say it back, and then they expect something physical. Not cool.

No way. Louis cared too much for Harry to even hint that he wanted to continue their earlier kanoodling. Which really made things awkward.

They were still standing there at the wall that Harry had pushed him up against. How should he act? Like nothing had happened? Or apologize? And if he apologized, it would sound not only goofy, but cruel.

I'm sorry I can't say I love you back?

No, he couldn't do it. Even though he'd said basically the same thing, just phrased a little differently.

So instead, Louis said, "I think what you said to me is wonderful, and I'm glad you're man enough to say it, and that you really mean it. I feel massively complimented."

He sighed hard and heavy. This wasn't going at all like it should. It sounded like he was trying to appease Harry. And that was anything but the truth.

"Let's go to the mountains sometime soon!" Harry said abruptly, and Louis knew he was trying to lift his spirits. He must know how torn Louis felt. Feeling that he should say he loved him, but not being absolutely certain, and therefore, choosing to wait. Louis felt like the most rotten person alive.

But he bucked up and answered. "Brilliant! We can go tomorrow if you want—right after we walk the dogs. We'll still have plenty of daylight left."

It didn't get dark until seventy-thirty now, and they'd be done walking dogs by noon or one at the latest.

"I'll get us a picnic lunch started!" Harry scampered into the kitchen, busily making sandwiches and putting chips into baggies. He grabbed a couple of tangerines too.

"On the way, we can stop and get those brownies you like so much!" he looked so proud of himself, making Louis feel ashamed.

"This isn't one-sided, Haz!" Louis was almost in a panic, and he couldn't help letting the words out. "I feel so strongly for you—you just don't know."

"Lou," Harry took Louis' face between cupped hands. "I don't want you sayin' sommat until you are truly ready." He said it with so much conviction. "And don't you know that I can feel how you feel about me?"

That helped a little. In fact, a lot. Harry's sincere endorsement allowed Louis to stick to his guns and not spew something out of his mouth until he felt it was time.

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Sitting on a big rock at the creek at Mt. Baldy, an hour's drive from Hollywood, they just enjoyed the day for a while. They took off their shoes and socks and dangled their ankles in the water, which was almost shockingly cold in the ninety degree weather.

The slight breeze blew Harry's hair around, and Louis couldn't stop looking at it lifting gently from his neck and winding around his throat. Harry's candor was arresting as he talked about everything from feeling free and easy in this mountain atmosphere to getting ideas from Louis for a song he was currently writing.

"This creek, the running water, the birds making a cacophony of sounds inspires me."

"Cacophony? Really?" Louis smiled benevolently so Harry wouldn't think he was mocking him.